


Madness of the Maenads

by Lucenthia



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Continuation, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, awkward teens who don't know how to express themselves, kinda explicit?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-06-24 04:39:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19716385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucenthia/pseuds/Lucenthia
Summary: A month after the Second Giant War, Will is still trying (and failing) to get Nico to open up to him. Meanwhile, Nico is still convinced that he's a danger to the camp because of his lineage and his ability to vaporize people. They're forced to spend time together when they, and another Satyr, are sent on a quest to disperse a group of Maenads: chaotic followers of Dionysus that gather mortals around them in a state of ecstatic frenzy. Nico and Will need to work through their issues while dealing with the monsters.Canon continuation between BoO and ToA. There is an OC foil because I needed someone who wasn't a complete disaster in the story.





	1. Chapter 1

Everything seemed _right_ in a nightmare. That was the worst thing. Once again, Nico sat on a throne made of flesh and cartilage and thought nothing of it. His friends didn’t matter. Not Reyna, who had travelled across continents with him. Not Percy, with all his heroism and pure goodness. He was judgement incarnate, sitting by his father, the Lord of the Underworld. 

Hades sat in a larger throne made of writhing souls beside him, accompanied by Alecto, one of the winged furies. The three of them overlooked a courtroom with a figure in chains in the center, trembling naked in front of them. Hades read from a file Alecto handed him. “A schoolteacher from San Diego. He inspired dozens of students, loved by his community.”

Nico snatched the file from Hades and sneered. “Racist and biased. He only cared about students who looked like him.” He stretched his hand towards the naked teacher, who cowered. It did the teacher no good. Nico grinned as the man screamed and faded into nothing. “Next.”

Alecto dragged another spirit in. This one was a woman. Her pale face was smeared with dirt, and her matted hair hid half her face. Hades glanced through another file and said, “Homeless for five years before she died of an overdose in Idaho. Took care of stray dogs in the area, worked in the local Walmart.”

“She gave money to drug dealers, which helped them exploit others.” Nico rolled his eyes. “She stole and lied her entire life.” He clenched his fist and the homeless woman screeched as she faded to nothing. “Next.”

The third spirit was another man. He pleaded with his deep brown eyes. Hades passed Nico the case file. “Runs a convenience store in Charleston, takes care of his immigrant parents, makes sure his kids do well in school.”

“Mentally and physically abuses his children in the name of discipline.” Nico snapped his fingers. The man’s screams soothed him, and he was eager for the next defendant.

“Firefighter from Kansas City, father of two loving children.” Hades looked at the next case. 

“Harassed waiters at the local fast food shops.” Nico snapped his fingers. Another death, another thrill through his body. “Next.”

“A chef in Springfield, she took good care of her staff, made sure they got benefits.”

“Smuggled contraband.” Another spirit gone. “Next.”

“Architect from Omaha, paid her own way through school, helped construct environmentally friendly buildings.”

“Only did it for the money, next.”

“Retired sergeant in Atlanta—”

“He killed people, next.”

“Librarian—”

“Selfish, next.”

“Waiter—”

“Too stubborn, next.” Another handwave, another spirit gone. But the spirits kept on coming, and Nico kept on dissolving them, damning them. All kinds of people, all of them scared, and Nico didn’t care. He was the son of Hades, and he held the power of life and death over all mortals. The faces and spirits blurred as they rushed before him. 

Percy was thrust in front of him and pleaded with Nico, his sea-green eyes wide that Nico had once fallen in love with overflowing with tears. Nico flicked his fingers and Pecy disappeared. He killed Reyna too. Her tarnished armor was useless against a son of Hades. The ghosts of everyone he had condemned rose through the ceiling like a discordant breeze. Their barely audible moans were a never ending death rattle that surrounded him. The air grew chill with their fury and fear, and Nico thrived on it.

And then he awoke as he phased through his bed, and almost through the floor. "Shit, shit, shit." It took several frantic attempts to crawl out from under the bed, as Nico’s arms kept passing through the floorboards. 

Solidifying himself felt like clenching a muscle that wasn’t there. It took an entire minute of hyperventilating beneath the bed before his limbs regained substance. Nico thanked the gods as he finally crawled out and clung to his bedpost. He looked around his cabin to ground himself: Twelve beds, twelve empty torches, four walls, four solid limbs. He was in the Hades cabin, in Camp Half-Blood, in the mortal world. He repeated his location like a mantra while he clutched at the hardwood bedpost. He was mortal. He was mortal.

His heart still pounded, and his brain screamed that there was something lurking behind him, something about to burst through that door and he should shadow travel out of here. He wanted to yell and smash something, but settled with punching the black marble walls. His knuckles would bruise and Will Solace would look disappointed if he saw, but Nico could live with that.

Nico was about to put a shirt on when the grass outside crunched. Someone was outside, and heading towards the front door. Nico’s heartbeat, which had been approaching normal speeds, skyrocketed. Nico took a deep breath and turned into a shadow. 

It wasn’t technically true, but it had a nice ring to it. The black room blurred and seemed far away, and Nico’s limbs didn’t feel like they belonged to him. It was a trick he had learnt in Tartarus to stay undetected, and it still came in handy. Feeling more and more like a ghost, Nico slid through the walls and emerged outside the cabin. 

As usual, Nico’s limbs didn’t respond as easily, as if Nico was walking through water. Despite feeling his body heat seep away into the air, Nico remained a shadow until he was sure no one had seen him. Muffled voices from the distant campfires wafted over, and the cabins in front of Nico were deserted. He clenched his arms and solidified again, shivering as sudden warmth rushed through his body. 

The intruder knocked on Nico’s door, which admittedly made the intruder a lot less suspicious. But he still summoned his sword of Stygian Iron and advanced on the suspicious party. “What are you doing?”

The figure yelped and dropped a plate of hot dogs on the ground. Flecks of mustard splattered Nico’s bare feet as Will Solace, one of Apollo’s most annoying children to ever live, stumbled back and almost fell on his ass. He scrambled to pick up the hot dogs. “I’m so sorry about that.”

“The harpies will take care of it.” Nico said. “But what are you doing?” Bringing hot dogs to the Hades cabin had to be the weirdest thing to happen this summer, including the Giant War. And Will had actually knocked on the door, which eliminated the possibility of Will being on his way to another location. Nor was there any mistaking the Hades cabin, with its smooth black walls, and torches that burned with a green flame. 

Will stared at Nico, and his jaw moved up and down. Nico was made all too aware that all he was wearing were gym shorts, and restrained the urge to turn back into a shadow and sink into the ground. Will cleared his throat and stared at Nico’s sword. “I just wanted to make sure you were eating.”

“Are you serious?” Nico asked. This wasn’t the first time Will had called Nico out for skipping meals, but knocking on Nico’s door in the middle of the night was outrageous.

“Well, it was dinner time, and I didn’t see you there, but I knew you were back because Chiron mentioned it and said I should check in on you. So—”

“Wait, it’s dinner time?” Nico really needed to get his sleep schedule in check.

“This is why I don’t think you’re okay.” Will tried to put a hand on Nico’s shoulder, but he stepped back and fixed him with one of his best death glares. 

“You’re not responsible for me, Solace. We’re the same goddamned age.” Will always had to treat him like a child in need, or some helpless civilian.

“I know, I just wanted to make sure,” Will trailed off. His blond hair framed his round face perfectly, scrunched up in its awkward glory.

Nico wanted to punch Will, but restrained himself. “Make sure of what?”

“I just wanted to be sure you were doing okay.” Will practically whined at him. 

“I just killed a horde of Telekhines in Virginia. I think I’m good.” How could Nico shake him loose? They had fought together once during the Giant War, and suddenly Will felt like it was his god given duty to nanny him. 

“Well, If you need anything,” Will said. “Just let me know.”

“If I ever need a band-aid, I’ll come running.” Nico didn’t even bother to flip him off. He slammed the door, guaranteeing him the satisfaction of getting the last word in. 

He spent the next half hour imagining better comebacks to Will’s conversation and constructing the most biting one liners he could. It grew old quickly, and Nico flung himself on his bed. Thoughts of Will distracted him long enough to fall asleep again. This time, he didn’t have any dreams. 

Unfortunately, Nico woke up feeling like shit, and his cheap watch told him it was almost noon. He replayed the scene from last night in his head, but the righteous anger had left him. All Will had done was bring him dinner, even if it was completely unnecessary. And Nico had pulled his sword on him. No wonder everyone else at camp avoided him. They’d be better off not meeting him. 

Someone knocked on the door. Nico groaned. Probably Will with lunch. His moment of remorse completely forgotten, Nico got up and yanked the door open. “If you’re hear to give me another hot dog, you can shove it up—” 

Instead of Will, Clovis, son of Hypnos, stood outside the door with his mouth hanging open in terror. “Gods, I’m so sorry.”

“Clovis?” Nico should have known it wasn’t Will. Now that Nico was awake and not recovering from a night terror, he could concentrate and feel Clovis’ soul. It felt like melted marshmallow pooling on a chocolate biscuit, and smelt like laundry detergent. 

“Um, so here’s the thing.” Clovis had been fidgeting and babbling while Nico had zoned out. “I know you haven’t been to see us, and I’m sure you have very valid reasons for not doing so, but we at the Hypnos cabin feel that—”

“Will sent you.” Nico said with a flat stare.

“Absolutely.” Clovis nodded furiously. “And I know this might make you mad—”

“I’ll take care of this.” Nico rolled his eyes. “And next time Will asks you to waste your time, don't bother.”

“Will said that you were having night terrors.” Clovis practically winced. “And I’m really sorry that I’m bothering you.”

“Will was wrong.” Nico lied. 

“Right, I’ll go tell him that.” Clovis nodded again. He was going to get a neck cramp if he continued nodding the way he was. Maybe the wise Will Solace would have a cure for that.

“You don’t need to.” Nico was about to close the door, but felt a twinge of sympathy for Clovis. It wasn’t his fault Will had sent him on a wild goose chase. “It’s fine, Clovis. Really.”

“Oh, are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m not mad.” Nico lied again. He tried to smile, but Clovis flinched and fled.

As he shut the door, Nico groaned. Why did he bother being polite? Maybe he just needed to practice smiling, he wondered, as he put on his leather jacket. He wanted to look as functional and put-together as he could before he confronted and yelled at Will. And Nico was going to make sure Will never tried to pull a stunt like this again.


	2. Chapter 2

Will Solace usually enjoyed being in the infirmary, but his patience was being tested by Samuel, son of Ares. He fumbled for a needle of anaesthetic while he pushed Sam back down. “Would it kill you to just sit still?”

“It’s just a scratch!” Sam tried to get out of bed while the deep gash in his thigh bled onto the disinfected sheets. The femoral artery didn’t seem punctured, but he still might bleed out if left alone. Just another usual morning in the infirmary. 

“Everything’s going to be okay.” Some people were scared of needles. Will usually talked to the patient while gently sliding the needle into their arm. He looked over in time to see his sister, Kayla, jab a syringe it into Sam’s flailing bicep.

“Really?” 

“Did you want to sing him a lullaby?” Kayla asked. Sam was still struggling and swearing up a storm. Will winced as Sam told her where she should have stuck the syringe. “Maybe we should try again.”

“Not funny.” Will said. At least she had stuck a vein. Despite that, Sam heaved himself off the table, shoving Will away. 

“I really think we should just jab him with another dose or two.” Kayla muttered. “Just to be extra sure.”

“We’re healers, Kayla.” Will made sure she made eye contact with him. “We have to take this seriously.”

Kayla groaned but helped Will shove Sam back onto the bed. She had good intentions, but needed to take her duty in the infirmary more seriously. They had to honor Apollo in whatever way they could. 

Will sighed in relief as Sam gradually weakened and settled down. He hovered over Kayla as she started stitching Sam’s wound. She glanced at him and said, “Thanks, I’ve got it from here.”

“Your stitches should be closer together.”

“Yes, head counsellor, sir,” Kayla rolled her eyes. “I’ve been doing this for years. Go hover over the twelve year olds. I saw one of them trying to tie an arm sling way too loosely. It looked like a damn sash.”

Will’s stomach curdled at the thought, and he quickly hurried to correct the mistake. He darted between the rows of aluminium cots and cabinets piled neatly with first aid equipment to approach the culprit. Apart from the broken arm, three burn victims needed attention, and Will tenderly applied cooling ointment. The Lava Wall was all fun and games until the simulated landslides started.

He spent the rest of the day on his feet, showing his younger siblings where supplies were, and taking note of ones they would have to refill. He would need to ask the wood nymphs for more of their sap very soon, as anaesthetic was running low. At noon, the half-bloods in the infirmary went to lunch, and would soon be replaced with the siblings who had been out practicing archery and combat. Will’s stomach growled, but he ignored the hunger. He had another patient waiting for him. And this patient couldn’t be healed as easily.

“I still can’t look at my sword.” Danielle said. The daughter of Athena sat with Will on the edge of the forest. Will dug his fingers into the mossy tree stump he sat on. He had to act as relaxed as he could.

Danielle continued talking. “The Hypnos and Morpheus kids help me stop the dreams, but my mind still goes back to the battle when I’m awake.” She held a pinecone in her hands picked apart the scales. Her fingers would grow sticky with the pine sap, but Will decided to ignore that. 

Instead, he nodded and said, “I was talking to Clovis about the Hypnos shifts, and I saw that you have both Mika and Clovis working with you. How much are you sleeping?”

“Nine hours a day.”

“Mika or Clovis alone could do that for you.” Will said. “It’s unhealthy to abuse their powers like this. Annabeth says you get closer to fifteen.”

“Yeah, she’d know.” Danielle snorted. “Probably because she’s awake all the time anyways.”

This was news to Will, who had always assumed Annabeth was recovering. She had been a leader at camp for as long as Will could remember. The thought of Annabeth trembling on the edge of her bed, or twitching at unexpected noises unnerved him.

He kept his voice even and said, “We’re not talking about Annabeth here. We’re talking about you. You can’t spend more than half the day unconscious and expect to recover.”

“Like staying awake’s going to fix us.” Danielle smiled mirthlessly. “Has anyone you’ve been talking to gotten better? Any of us?”

“You’ve all made progress.” Will’s stomach clenched at the lie. Too many of his cousins couldn’t stand the sight of fire. Couldn’t listen to the sound of metal clashing with metal without wanting to run away. “You just need to keep on trying. And that involves being awake for longer.”

“So you think I’m not trying?” Danielle scoffed. “I have to get lunch, and introduce the little ones to the nymphs.”

“Dani, wait.” Will scrambled after her and grabbed her shoulder. He felt Danielle stiffen and whirl around. She backed away, her hands trembling.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

“It’s okay.” Will said. Before he could say anything else, Danielle ran off. He groaned and sat back down on the porch. He rubbed his eyes and stared at his feet.

“That went well. Have you tried giving her hotdogs?”

Will looked up to see Nico di Angelo leaning against a tree with his hands stuffed in a new black leather jacket. Half of Nico’s face was cast in shadow, and Will felt the usual prickling on the back of his neck. He tried his best to treat Nico like any another camper, but it was hard. Not every camper was a son of Hades and carried a sword of stygian iron at his hip. It was hard to forget how dangerous it had looked last night when Nico had pointed it at him. Even harder to forget was his wiry frame, and the way the torchlight had glinted off his bare chest. 

Will swallowed and said, “You saw what happened?” He kicked himself inside. Of course Nico had seen it.

Nico just raised an eyebrow and said, “It’s good to know I’m not the only camper you piss off.”

“Dani wasn’t pissed off.”

“Right, the usual reaction to being told _you’re not trying hard enough_ is joy and gratitude.” 

“That’s not what I was saying!” Will groaned. “Dani just took it way out of context.”

“So what were you saying?”

“That she can’t give up on getting better.” Will said. “Just because it’s hard isn’t any reason to give up.”

Nico smiled briefly at the ground. “Glad to know I’m not the only one you’re hovering around. I was starting to feel singled out.” 

“No, I’m worried about lots of people—” 

“So do you send Clovis to wake other people up and offer them unsolicited sleep counselling?” Nico was still smiling, but he was looking at Will in a way that made him very nervous. His gaze felt as hard and unpleasant as the iron of an unsheathed sword pointed in his direction. 

“Well, most people realize that it does help.” Will had assumed that Nico had known how Clovis and his siblings helped out. “People who are more vitalized from sleep find it easier to function and perform their daily tasks. And once people—”

“I don’t care about how your new treatment works.” Nico had stopped smiling. “Why did you tell Clovis to wake me up and ask to put me to sleep again?”

“How did he wake you up? I sent him at like, eleven.”

“Not everybody gets up at sunrise, Will.”

“I don’t, I get up at seven thirty every day.” Will protested. “Sunrise is at six. Anyways, did you set up an appointment with Clovis?”

Nico’s jaw dropped. “Why would you think I’d agree to be sedated for half of the day?”

“Because it’s good for you.” Will said. What about this wasn’t Nico understanding? “It helps you function. Get on with your life.”

“I’m getting on with my life fine.” Nico narrowed his eyes and took a step towards Will.

Will backed away instinctively while saying, “You’re more paranoid. And you’ve told Jason you’re not sleeping as much.”

“That’s none of your business.” Nico yelled. “I’m doing fine, and I don’t need the help from you.” The shadows cast by the trees quivered and for a second they looked like claws.

Before Will could argue and show Nico exactly why he needed help, a timid voice behind cleared his throat. Will turned around to see a young Satyr. He had barely started growing facial hair, and the fur covering his four legs was still fluffy. “Excuse me, but Mr. D sent me.”

Nico seemed to calm down in the presence of the cowering Satyr. “What do you want?”

“Mr. D politely requests your presence in the Big House as soon as possible.” The Satyr was bouncing two of his four legs nervously. 

Mr. D had never requested anything politely from the demigods he was in charge of, but Will appreciated the Satyr’s attempt at politeness. “We’ll head over now.” 

He turned to look at Nico, only to catch him stepping into the shadow of a pine tree and melting away. Will grimaced. Shadow travel was dangerous, and Nico ran the risk of becoming more like a shadow every time he did it. But did he listen to Will’s well-reasoned arguments that shadow travelling was dangerous and humans weren’t meant to be transparent? Of course not.

He had hoped that after fighting alongside campers in the second Giant War, Nico would open up. But he had thrown himself into missions since then, hunting down remnants of the army the Giants had mustered, gathering information for Chiron, and rebuffing every attempt Will had made at becoming friends.

“You shouldn’t waste your time with him. You’ve got other patients that need you.”

Will turned to talk to Kayla, who had folded her arms and stood on the outskirts of the forest. “We can’t just help the people who are convenient.”

“But you can’t help people—”

“—who don’t ask for help, I know.” Will tried not to sound exasperated. “But there are people who need help but don’t ask for it. Should we just let them suffer?”

Kayla waited until Will walked out of the forest and walked with him to the Big House. “If you spend too much time trying to reach the unreachable, you don’t spend enough time with the patients that need you.”

“Unreachable? Is that what we’re calling Nico?”

“It’s what we call people who have injuries we can’t see.” Kayla lengthened her stride to keep up with Will. “You’ve been spending too much time with people like Dani and Nico, people we don’t know how to heal. We heal physical injuries, not nightmares and peoples’ feelings.”

“That’s like not trying healing a broken ankle because you don’t know how.”

“If you try fixing a broken ankle without knowing how, you could set it wrong and cripple the patient for life.” Kayla said.

“Okay, that was a bad example, but you know what I mean.”

“You have patients asking for you. Actual patients with broken limbs, or chronic pain in their joints from training the wrong way.”

“You guys have that covered.” Will tried to ignore the pang of guilt. He was more patient than his siblings, more willing to work with patients that refused treatment, and few of his siblings spent as much time as he did trying to diagnose half-bloods with rare symptoms. Who was he to leave them? 

“I’ll tell everyone you’ll be gone for a week or so.” Kayla said. “That’s how long quests usually last, isn’t it?”

“You heard the Satyr?”

“If I heard your little heart to heart with Nico, I would’ve heard the Satyr.” Kayla said. “I was looking for you because I wanted your opinion on this new rash that’s been going around the camp, but the rest of us can handle it.”

“Are you sure?” Will stopped in his tracks. “Have you decided on a treatment? Do you know what caused it?”

Kayla rolled her eyes, but smiled so Will would know she wasn’t mad. “Leave it to us. We’ve got it covered, remember?”

“Maybe I should head to the infirmary, just to check it out.”

“And make Mr. D wait?”

Will groaned. “I guess you’re right.” He hoped Mr. D was wise enough not to send him on a quest. Couldn’t he see that Will was needed at camp? “But you’ll let me know if something goes wrong?”

“Don’t worry.” Kayla said. “Go on that quest of yours, and try not to get vaporized by Nico.”

“You’ll also have to tell Clovis that his siblings will need to keep track of his appointments.”

Kayla looked like she was going to object, but still nodded. As she waved goodbye, Will made a mental note to thank her for being by his side the last year and a half. Being the head counsellor of the Apollo cabin wasn’t easy, and she and some of the older siblings pitched in when they could. Will turned to the Big House, and tried to ignore the sense of homesickness that was settling in before he had even left the camp.

* * *

The heat in the living room was stifling, and Will had started to sweat. He had greeted Rachel, the resident oracle, but she had just nodded at him and gone back to rifling through piles of crayon drawings and chicken scratch writing. Nico leaned against a wall while fiddling with the pommel of his sword, and didn’t acknowledge Will as he walked in. Mr. D, also known as Dionysus, lounged on a purple divan. The meek satyr who had summoned Will and Nico was peeling grapes and placing them in his palm.

Dionysus looked up. “Oh, joy, our savior has come. So glad you could join us.”

“What’s going on?” Nico asked.

Rachel glanced at Mr. D, who waved his hand to give her permission. “A few days ago, Mr. D found out that Maenads had stolen a talisman of his. When Chiron told us, I remembered something Ella had written down.”

“What are Maenads?”

“Don’t they teach you anything?” Mr. D muttered. “Terrible recall, these new heroes.”

Rachel ignored Mr. D and said, “Maenads are followers of Dionysus. They’re revelers, literally called the raving ones. They lure mortals into their circle with their dancing and intoxicate them before feeding off their energy.”

“And they stole some talisman.” Nico asked. “While you and the gods had your,” he paused, looking for a delicate enough word for divine schizophrenia, “episode?”

“You try being a god.” Mr. D scowled at Nico. “There you are, shepherding stupid humans to appreciate the primal forces that nature comprises of, and then the Romans have to come along and turn you into a fat drunk.”

Will glanced at Mr. D’s ample belly, but didn’t comment. Instead, he asked, “So Ella predicted this?”

Rachel nodded. “The prophecy she remembered was obscure, but what’s happening now and Ella’s memories line up.”

“Did the prophecy mention me and Nico too?”

“Sort of.” Rachel frowned. “As I said, the prophecy wasn’t that clear.”

“What a surprise.” Nico muttered. Rachel ignored him and continued, “But we think you two, plus a Satyr need to go.”

“But campers need me.” Sam, with his wound that still needed dressing. Danielle, with her nightmares. At the same time, Nico said, “I don’t need help.”

Will glared at Nico. “Yes, you do.”

“You literally just said you didn’t want to go.”

“Well, maybe not me, but you need someone.”

“Gods, I’ll be fine by myself.” Nico said.

“You’re going, Mr. Soren” Mr. D didn’t even look over.

“It’s Solace, and I’m not—”

The room shook. The crackling fire grew in volume until it seemed to fill his brain, while the room shimmered in a purple tinge. Mr. D sat up and glared at Will, revealing the purple flames dancing in his sockets. “Do I need to remind you exactly who I am?”

“No, sir.” Will would have fallen backwards, but Nico gripped his arm and steadied him. “But I just think maybe someone else—” 

Will gasped as his head throbbed and the world spun. He collapsed to his knees. Through a ringing in his ears he heard Nico say, “We’ll go.”

“Why, thank you.” Mr. D waved a hand and the room righted itself. “Honestly, back in the day, heroes would have leapt at the chance to die in my honor.” He looked over at his grape peeler. “Things certainly have changed, haven’t they?” 

The satyr immediately nodded, and Mr. D turned back to Will and Nico. “I’ve sent one of my satyrs, Eleanor, to meet you on the camp borders. Off with you now. To glory and death and all those other terribly mortal things.”

“Inspiring as always, Mr. D.” Nico deadpanned. “Do you know where your talisman might be? And what it looks like?” He let go of Will and stuffed his hand back into his jacket pocket. 

Will’s arm still tingled from where Nico had grabbed it. The hand had been warm, and Will could still feel where Nico had grabbed him. There was a running joke that Nico gave off no body heat, that he was half-dead already. Will felt a pang of shame for believing those rumors, but forced himself to pay attention to Mr. D. “Eleanor should be able to find them. But the details are for you to work out.” 

“Thanks for your help.” Nico intoned. He grabbed Will’s wrist and stepped into the shadow of an antique bookcase, dragging Will with him. They emerged on the edge of Camp Half-Blood. Will’s legs still shook and he staggered slightly. Nico didn’t bother holding him this time. He looked around and raised his hand in the direction of the satyr meant to accompany them. 

Eleanor wore a ripped sleeveless jacket that matched her tatty jeans which hid two of her four legs. Her ears were decked with gages and studs, and Will could only hoped she took care of her piercings. She came over to them, and Will was alarmed to see there was a lit roll-up cigarette perched on her ear. A thin trail of smoke mixed into spiked hair with pink highlights. “You’ve got something, uh,” he gestured at his own ear.

“Oh, you want a hit?” She sauntered up to them and plucked it off their ear. “Don’t be shy, I can grow more easily.”

“Uh, that’s okay.” Will stammered, while Nico shook his head. “Tabacco’s not good for the lungs. Increases chances of lung cancer and —”

“Like any demigod lives long enough to worry about cancer.” Eleanor laughed. “And this isn’t a cigarette, it’s just a joint.”

Will raised his eyebrows and did his best not to judge. Maybe this was just a young satyr who didn’t know what she was doing. Why did Mr. D assign her to them? “I don’t do drugs.”

The satyr rolled her eyes. “Great, I get twelve year olds.” She steamrolled past Will’s protests and said, “Look, if you had to deal with Mr. D for twenty years, you’d be smoking too.”

“Grover doesn’t smoke.” Nico pointed out. A small smile danced on his face. Would the satyr be a bad influence on him?

“And he’s a nervous wreck.” The satyr replied. “Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great satyr. He’s done a lot for nature, and he's my favourite member of the council. But he also has anxiety, and working with Mr. D does _not_ help.”

“Agree to disagree.” Will put a protective hand on Nico, who jerked away and stared at him. 

Nico opened his mouth at Will, then turned deliberately to the satyr. “Can you find the talisman?”

“I can find the maenads.” The satyr plucked her piercings from her ears and lip and flung them to the ground. 

She took her pipes from a belt, and blew into them. A rich sound, like the combination of a saxophone and bass guitar, thrummed around them. Her piercings bounced on the floor, almost like a dance. Eleanor only played a few extended notes, but when she stopped playing, the world seemed just a little duller.

“Somewhere in Brooklyn.” Eleanor gathered her earrings and started putting them back in her ears.

Will reached into his pocket and handed her disinfectant wipes. “You should clean your piercings before putting them back in.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Eleanor said. “I’m more than twice your age.”

“But satyrs age half as slow as humans.” Nico pointed out. “So that makes us the same age.”

“I’m sorry, when did you start learning about satyr biology?” Eleanor fiddled with a turquoise stud. “Now let’s go, Argus is waiting in the minivan.”

She turned and limped towards the white minivan, where Argus was waving from. The few eyes on Argus’ arm blinked in happiness. Will turned to Nico, but he had already started walking and was beside Eleanor. A pang of anger burnt in Will, and he quickly shut it down. He needed to focus on the quest, and befriend his allies. And it would be good for Nico to make friends. Even if one of them had to be so brazen about smoking weed. Will only hoped Nico would remain safe on this quest, and he would do everything he could to make that happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed! Let me know what you think!


	3. Chapter 3

“You should put your seatbelt on.” Will said. 

Argus’s minivan telegraphed every pothole and crack in the road, bouncing Nico around his seat in the back. Eleanor sat in shotgun with her feet propped on the dashboard and a hand dangling out of the window. With Nico’s eyes closed, he could almost feel Eleanor’s soul. It felt like fine loam and the sour taste of plant sap

Without opening his eyes, Nico said, “I shadow travelled my way across Europe, I think I’ll be good.”

“Didn’t you almost drop Reyna into a volcano?” Will smiled shyly at Nico.

Nico blinked and turned to face Will. “Who told you that?” 

“One of the Hermes kids.” Will said. “He had heard it from one of Frank’s legions who heard Reyna telling Frank.”

“Betrayed by my own friends.” Nico turned away so Will couldn’t see him smile. “Do you think Hermes’ children ever get tired of listening to gossip?”

“It’s kind of a defining trait.” Will said. “You know we have a deal with the Hermes cabin? Every year they get the chance to return all the equipment they stole, no questions asked. We get entire trash bags full of medical supplies.”

Nico smiled again, and wondered whether a socially apt spirit had possessed Will. Will’s conversations tended to turn into lectures on hygiene. “Has Hermes ever had a kid who wasn’t a kleptomaniac?”

“It does run in the family.” Will laughed. “But it’s also the environment. I hear stealing things is a rite of passage for some of the Hermes kids.”

“Where did you hear this? I thought you spent all of your time in the infirmary.”

“That’s not true.” Will’s voice raised an octave. “What about that time I brought you food?”

“You spilled it on the ground, I don’t think that counts.”

“Well, you were the one waving your sword at me.”

Of course he had. Nico bit his lip and stared into the seat in front of him. He pushed people away, it was what he did. What could he tell Will? That he liked feeling the weight of the sword in his hand? That he needed something solid to remind himself he wasn’t a ghost? Will would have a fit. 

“Sorry.” Nico said. It felt inadequate. A ball of shame sank into his stomach.

“It’s fine.” Will said. “But, just try not to do it?”

“I know.” Nico said. “I’m working on it.”

“You know, if you need someone to talk to, I’d be happy—”

“I don’t.” 

“Are you sure? It doesn’t have to be me, maybe—”

“I’m fine.” Nico said. He turned to face the window, where trees rushed by in a blur. Will was sneaking concerned glances at him, but he shut his eyes. Will would never disturb Nico if there was a chance he might be getting some much needed sleep. Nico had been planning on keeping his eyes closed for the rest of the ride to Manhattan. But he hadn’t slept much the previous night, and sleep and his dreams crept upon him before he knew it. 

Nico was back in Virginia, sliding through different kinds of pine trees, so silent he almost convinced himself he was a shadow. He could almost feel the Telekhines in front of him. Their souls felt like static shock and smooth enamel and tasted like copper pennies. A dozen of them bustled in a clearing twenty metres in front of them. Nico couldn’t feel any other life, but he still checked the ground for tripwires, and glanced at the tree canopy for alarms. 

That was when Jason flew over him. His blond hair shone in the sunlight, and Nico could almost taste the divinity radiating off his skin. He shrank into the ground as Jason hovered above him, his arms folded, his expression as cold as a storm. Jason moved his lips, and though he only whispered, Nico could hear his voice thunder around him. “Well? Aren’t you going to prove yourself?”

Nico nodded at the son of Zeus and moved forward. He had played this game before. He just needed to complete his mission, and kill the Telekhines. Only then would Jason’s expression change into one of acceptance. He almost ran through a thin wire placed at ankle height, and quickly phased through it, turning himself, briefly, into a shadow. 

“You always did disappoint me.” Will stepped out of a pool of sunlight with those sad eyes and shook his head. “Why don’t you ever listen?”

“I’m sorry, Will, I didn’t mean to shadow travel.” Nico’s felt a sharp pain in his chest. “I won’t do it again, I promise.”

“I don’t believe you.” Will said in that despondent, hopeless voice. “All I wanted was to be your friend.”

“Nico’s dangerous.” Reyna was behind him. “He lived with ghosts when he was eleven. He willed his enemies out of existence, just turned them into tormented spirits.” She circled him, proud and imposing in her Roman armour. “Do you know how scared I was after you did that to Bryce? Knowing you could send people to the Underworld, just like that?”

“But I can control it.” Nico begged. He didn’t care how loud he was being, or whether the Telekhines heard him. He needed Jason to hear him. “I’ve been hunting down the remains of Gaia’s army, I’ve been doing good for demigods.”

“Of course you have.” Jason descended from the sky and held Nico’s shoulders at arm’s length. “We know how valuable you are to us. But you understand why we can’t let you near other campers, don’t you?”

“Your powers are dangerous.” Will said from behind Jason. Even he was keeping his distance. Nico couldn’t hold it against him. It was the smart thing to do. “What if you lose control? What if you kill one of my siblings?”

“What if you kill us?” Reyna asked. “The same way you vaporized Bryce?”

“The same way you let Octavian die in battle?” Will said.

“He’s born from Hades, and the Underworld is his domain.” Jason said to Reyna and Will. “Death is all he knows.”

“I really wish we could be friends.” Will said. “But you’d just bring sickness to my patients.” He walked away, but Nico started chasing him. Trees blurred past him, and Jason and Reyna fell away. Will walked into a sunlit clearing and glanced back. Nico kept on running, even as Will started to glow and fade away. 

Nico reached the clearing, but the sun burnt him. He shrank back below the tree canopy before trying again. This time his arm caught on fire, and smoke from his own flesh rose into the air. Will smiled in sad acceptance. Will knew that Nico couldn’t join him. Nico stumbled back into the dark forest as Will disappeared into the sunlight. The fire had spread up his arm and now engulfed him, but Nico simply felt numb. His skin crackled and peeled away like sausages being barbecued. Nico could only hope he wouldn’t leave a mess.

A hand rested on his shoulder, and he jerked away. His sword was in his hand before he knew what he was doing. It was only when he had pressed himself against the window that he looked at Will, who had stumbled back and was tangled in the seats opposite Nico. “Gods, Nico, calm down.”

“I am calm.” Nico snapped. He looked around the bus. Eleanor sat by Argus watching him. Half of Argus’s eyes were fixed on Nico, though he had at least two on the road. This was the real world. This wasn’t a nightmare, even if it still felt like one. It was real, even if Nico felt like he was floating. His sword was the only truly solid thing in this world, though it shook in his tremulous grip. 

“No, you’re not.” Will got to his feet and raised his hands palm outwards. “What’s wrong.”

“Nothing.” Why was he like this? He had just dreamt of Will leaving him, and here he was making it happen. He was being so, so, stupid. 

“You can tell me if something’s wrong.”

“I know.” How could he explain to Will? Bad dreams made him scared enough to draw his sword on a friend? “It’s fine.”

“Will, we can work this out another time.” Eleanor sat up and walked over to Will. “We’re almost there, and there are things you should know about the Maenads.”

“This is important too.” Will protested.

“What do we need to know?” Nico asked. Anything was better than arguing with Will. 

“First of all, don’t attack anyone. Even if you see the talisman.” Eleanor stared at them and made sure both of them nodded. “They’re all fun and games at first, but they get vicious. They fly into manic rages until they’ve clawed and pulled you apart.”

“What if we accidentally draw weapons?” Will looked quickly at Nico before turning away.

“I’ll be fine.” Nico said.

“You didn’t look fine.”

“I was just startled. I won’t be falling asleep when we’re in the revel.” Nico deliberately turned back to Eleanor. “Will there be mortals?”

“Of course, it’s what they do.” Eleanor said. “Maenads drag humans into their revel and send them into a trance where they forget how long they dance for. Most end up dropping from exhaustion and dehydration.” 

“Is there anything we can do for them?” Will asked. “Should we bring in extra water for the mortals?”

“If you want to stand out, sure.” Eleanor said. “But Maeands don’t like party poopers. If we get Mr. D’s talisman, their influence won’t be as strong. More mortals will leave the circle.”

“Get into the revel, find the talisman, and get out.” Nico said. “Act like we’re having a good time, and don’t get caught up in the action.”

“Pretty much. Be careful of what you eat.” The minivan lurched to a halt as a traffic light turned red. “Maenad food lowers your inhibitions, makes you lose focus.” 

Will and Nico nodded. Will cleared his throat and asked, “You seem to know a lot about these creatures. Have you fought them before?”

Eleanor laughed. “You don’t fight Maenads if you can help it. I’ve seen them rip apart a chimera. But I’ve danced with them before.”

“What?” Will looked outraged.

“We’re all followers of Mr. D, we all appreciate nature and connection with fellow beings.” Eleanor shrugged. “I mean, they have zero chill, and take literally everything to the extreme. But they’re not evil.”

“Just different paths to the same goal.” Nico murmured. 

“A different path that kills people.” Will said.

“I’m not sure Maenads conceptualize life the same way we do.” Eleanor said. “But I’ve never found one sober enough to actually tell me.”

Will bit his lip and stared into the traffic. Evening crept upon them as they inched through Brooklyn, and Nico stared out the window at the pizzerias and laundromats that passed by. People drifted in and out of the streets with their heads down. How could they live with just being normal? No special combat reflexes, unable to shadow travel and mow down monsters? Didn’t they grow dissatisfied with themselves? 

The dream resurfaced. Nico could almost feel Jason’s hands on his shoulders, could see all the campers staring at him, just waiting for him to snap. Bryce Lawrence’s pleading face swam before Nico. Bryce had begged him not to do it, but all Nico had thought about was the danger Bryce was putting Reyna in. And Nico knew he would do it all over again for her, for Jason, even if it terrified them.

Will cleared his throat. Nico turned as Will said, “Eleanor says we’re close.”

“Thought we’d stop by for a quick look, since the revel’s on the way.” Eleanor said.

How long had Nico been daydreaming? He looked around to see Eleanor pointing at a slick metal door that looked like the entrance to an apartment building. Clothes hung off the fire escapes next to the door. Mortals walked by without a second glance, only pausing to step over piles of trash that accumulated from the adjacent apartments. 

And the door pulsed. The longer Nico stared at the doorway, the more he felt his own heartbeat, along with dozens more. He breathed in, and could feel the sheer amount of _life_ inside the bar. The brown bricks grew vibrant, and the grey door shimmered into life. Nico had a hand on the window when Will’s voice yanked him back to reality. “We need to be careful.”

“I know.” Nico tried to look annoyed. Had Will seen his reaction? Could Will even feel anything unusual? “Are we going in now?”

“We should wait until nightfall.” Eleanor said. “They attract more mortals during that time.”

“More people to blend in with.” Nico nodded. 

“Argus found a motel a few blocks down.” Eleanor said. “We’ll make sleeping accommodations, wait until nightfall, then infiltrate the revel.”

It was likely to be nightfall by the time they finally arrived at their destination. Nico would have sworn that walking would be faster. His leg shook against the seat in front of him. He was done with Brooklyn, and wanted to collapse in his bed in Camp Halfblood, where he could put distance between him and Will’s concerned face. 

* * *

Argus drove away as Will headed to the motel reception. He fingered the mortal money Dionysus had given them, and rehearsed how he would smile at the receptionist and hand over the money when asking for rooms. He was so preoccupied that he almost stepped in one of the brown puddles that had accumulated under the motel roof.

A cleaning lady was mopping up the plastic tiles as the three of them walked in. The receptionist looked up from a magazine and put on her glasses and a beaming smile. “Hello, can I help you?”

“Yes, we’d like to stay here for a few days.” Will looked at Eleanor. How many days was appropriate? They had already found the congregation, so ideally they could be done tonight. But a few extra days could never hurt. “Three nights.”

“Okay, and how many rooms?”

“Three.” Nico interjected. 

Will glared at him, but the receptionist was nodding and entering it into his computer. “Alright, that will be nine hundred and twelve dollars twenty three cents.”

“What?” Eleanor placed a hand on the counter.

“I’m sorry, ma’am.” The receptionist smiled even wider at Eleanor. “Those are our prices.”

“How much did Mr. D give us?” Nico asked. He was deliberately ignoring the receptionist, which was for the best. His brooding scowl could have pierced the newly scrubbed tiles. 

“Not enough.” Will counted the money. “I don't think Mr. D understands how inflation works. If we want to stay for three days, we’ll have to share a room.” He turned to Eleanor for advice, but she was ranting to herself about inflation, and what motels had cost in the 80’s.

“We won’t be here for three days.” Nico said. “We go in, get the talisman, get out.”

“It might not be that simple.” Will said. “You felt the congregation’s power. I saw you.” Will could still see Nico’s face pressed against the glass, with a sense of longing in his eyes. Will had seen that look before, from people who just wanted the children of Hypnos to let them sleep, from campers who preferred oblivion to the waking world.

Nico flushed and clenched his fists. “I’m fine, I know what to look out for.”

“You’re not.” Will remembered his siblings who froze when a sword was swung at them. Nico was no different. 

“Like you’d know.” Nico retorted. “All you do is think about is how weak I am when you don’t even know me.”

“We’ve been friends for months, that’s enough time for me to know you need help.”

“No, you’ve been trying to run my life for months. Just because we fought together doesn’t mean you can manage me like a five year old.”

Will’s patience with Nico had run out. He was sick of always worrying about Nico, sick of trying to help him when he clearly didn’t want to admit he needed help. “Well if you actually worked on fixing yourself, I wouldn’t need to nag you all the time.”

Nico gaped at Will and almost laughed. It was more of a sharp exhale, like he was in disbelief that Will would say that. Eleanor groaned and moved toward Nico, but he sidestepped her.

“Fuck you. You think you _fix_ people?” Nico strode up to Will, who retreated under Nico’s piercing gaze. “How’s Dani doing? I’m sure she’s real grateful she’s got you in her life.”

Danielle’s empty eyes fixed on her blade, the tremors in her hand, all the campers who startled easily, it all rushed down on Will. “At least I’m trying to help, instead of hiding in my room.”

Nico took a deep breath and backed off. “Well, I guess I’d better take a nice walk to really get that outdoor energy. Do you think I’ll fix myself if I smile enough?”

Will opened his mouth, but Eleanor kicked him in the shin. As he hopped around in agony, Eleanor approached Nico. “Look, we can get three rooms. How about—”

“No, do whatever the fuck you want.” Nico headed towards the reception door. “Maybe you’ll be able to get rooms for three days without me.”

“Wait, Nico.” Will started to limp after Nico, but Eleanor yanked him back. When Will stared at her, she just shook her head. By the time Will had pulled himself away from Eleanor, Nico was gone. 

The receptionist’s smile had not wavered, and she said, “If it’s just the two rooms, that will be six hundred and twenty eight dollars.”

“Not now.” Eleanor said. She glared at Will and said, “Are you always an idiot, or just when it comes to human interaction?”

“But he’s clearly hurting, and he needs—”

“And you’re healing him, is that it?” Eleanor paced the shining tiles. “You’re trying to, what, make him see his wrongs and improve himself?”

“Exactly!” 

Eleanor uttered a low and drawn out moan. She sat on one of the plastic chairs in the dining room and buried her face in her hands. “Who knew training children to hunt monsters would emotionally stunt them? Why communicate with a monster if you can just cut off its head?”

“What?”

“Sorry, I was just saying you’re an idiot.”

“Like you care.” Will knew he was just lashing out, but he was too angry. Eleanor was just so apathetic, so eager to prove she was unaffected by everything. “Did you even notice what happened to Nico in the car ride, or were you just getting high?”

“I was doing both.” Eleanor stood up and folded her arms. “And I noticed more than you did.”

“What do you mean?”

“How kind of you to ask.” Eleanor only came up to Will’s shoulder, but he was regretting provoking the small satyr. “I noticed that you’ve got the most ironic compulsion to help people.”

“Why is that ironic?”

“Because you don’t.” Eleanor said. “Help people, I mean. You just make things worse.”

“It’s better than doing nothing.” Will yelled. 

The receptionist cleared her throat. She was now exerting an effort into maintaining her smile. “I’m sorry, sirs, but if you’re not booking a room, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to leave.” 

“Ma’am, this is not a good time.” Will said.

“I’m sorry, but that’s our policy.” The receptionist grinned at them. “Have a nice day.”

Will and Eleanor walked out of the motel in silence. He took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry, about what I said.”

“I’m not.” Eleanor grunted. She walked past a red light, and Will cringed as he followed her. He waved apologetically to an incoming driver, who flipped the two of them off.

Will didn’t know what was worse: Eleanor's rude response or her blatant jaywalking. Before he could decide, Eleanor said, “We need to find Nico, not argue.”

Will took a deep breath before saying, “You’re right. He’s probably gone to the revelry.”

“It’d be a good place to start.” Eleanor sighed and started walking. 

Will fell into step with her. The walked past two blocks in silence before Will burst out, “So you don’t take back anything you said?”

“Nope.” Eleanor didn’t even do the courtesy of looking at him. She shoved her way past a group of men in suits coming out of an office building and into a line of taxis. Will waited for them to pass, and had to run to catch up to Eleanor. She hadn’t bothered waiting. 

“And kicking me?” Will’s shin still throbbed. Eleanor’s boots could be classified as weapons.

“Nope.”

“Well, why not?” 

“Because I think I was right.” Eleanor said. 

“How do I hurt people?” Will asked. “You don’t even know me. I heal people.”

“I know people like you.” Eleanor said. “People who have their idea of how people should be, and how to make people better.”

“Because I do.” Will said.

Eleanor said something, but a bus roared past them, masking Eleanor’s voice. A plume of exhaust clogged the air, and Will held his breath as they walked through the cloud.

“What?” Will said.

Eleanor swore and beckoned Will into an alleyway. It shielded them from the constant noise of Manhattan, even if it did look like several people had been robbed under these fire escapes. “What makes you think you know people better than they do?”

“People are terrible judges of themselves.” Will said. “You haven’t seen denial until you’ve treated demigods who think they’re immortal.”

“Okay, demigods are really stupid.” Eleanor conceded. “But what makes you a better judge than others? Why are you so sure your judgement is the superior one?”

“Because I’m trained to see how people are injured.” Will said. “If someone’s hurting, I know why, and how to fix it, because I’ve done it for years. It’s what I do.”

Eleanor’s face softened, and she asked, “How long have you known you were a demigod?”

Why was Eleanor asking this? Was she just trying to change the subject? “Now we're having a heart to heart? We need to find Nico.”

Eleanor shrugged. “You were the one who started talking to me. You wanted me to apologize for what I said in the motel.”

“And you should have!”

Eleanor slapped her forehead and came to a halt. “Okay. Either we talk and I’ll tell you exactly why I think I’m right, or we go look for Nico now and both of us shut up. Pick one, and go with it.”

Nico could be entranced by Maenads as they spoke. He could be lost, swimming in frantic music, dancing until he dropped dead. They had to look for and save him. But a tingling doubt stirred inside Will. Why was Eleanor so sure he was hurting people? If there was a chance Eleanor might help him with Nico, he had to take it.

“Make it quick.” Will said.

Eleanor blinked. “You’re actually putting off your crusade to save Nico?”

“It’s not a crusade.” Will’s outraged voice went up an octave. “And stop stalling.”

“I’m not stalling, I’m just surprised.” Eleanor leaned back against the brick wall and ran her fingers along the mortar. “So, a lot of Satyrs believe in nature, that Pan gave birth to the wilderness, and we believe that nature, plants, animals, should be left alone.”

“But what about farming and agriculture?” 

“Humans screw everything up, but let’s not go there.” Eleanor said. She reached for the joint behind her ear and held it to a lighter that she had up her sleeve. “Like, if a tree dies, that’s not a mistake, that’s not something that needs to be fixed. You just leave it, and it’ll make the soil more fertile. It can be a home for little ones.”

“Little ones?”

“Termites, ants, other cute critters.”

“Termites are cute?”

“They are, and weirdly funny if you actually start to talk to them. They’re just narrow-minded.” Eleanor said. “The point is, nature sorts itself out. What seems like a mistake to us usually isn’t, because we’re too short-sighted.” 

Will paused and mulled it over. “That… actually seems to make sense.”

“Surprised a stoner could say anything valuable?” Eleanor grinned and took another hit from her joint. 

Will blushed, but chose to ignore that. He had to pick his battles with Eleanor. “So how does any of that relate to Nico?”

“Nico has his own shit, and he’s sorting it out. You just can’t see it working out because you’re too short sighted.”

“It doesn’t look Nico’s sorting it out.”

“And how would you know?” Eleanor said. “Nature sorts itself out, and so can Nico.”

“So we should just ignore him?”

“No, treat him like a friend.” She frowned. “Do you even have any of those?”

“Hey! There’s Kayla, Antonio—” 

“They’re your siblings, they don’t count.” Eleanor finished the joint and crushed it under a boot. 

“You can’t be friends with your siblings?”

“Nope.”

Will laughed. “Wait until you have a dozen or so. You don’t have a choice after that.” He took a deep breath. “So what are you saying I should do with Nico?”

“Just treat him like you treat everyone else.”

“That _is_ how I treat everyone else.” Will said. 

Eleanor groaned again. “Of course this is. You’re sure you have friends?”

Will pursed his lips. “We’re wasting time.” It had actually been fun talking to Eleanor, but Will had let himself get distracted. He couldn’t indulge himself when Nico was in danger. “We can talk about this later.”

“Sounds good.” Eleanor said. “You’re actually not that bad to talk to when you relax a bit.”

“We don’t have time to relax.” Will emerged from the alleyway and walked in what he hoped was the direction of the revel. “Nico’s in danger.”

Eleanor’s only response was, “Take a right when you can.” 

Will turned around and walked in the correct direction. They walked in silence for several more minutes, with Eleanor leading the way. The rush hour was over, and the swarms of people funnelling between subway entrances and zebra crossings had trickled to a stop. Eleanor’s words rang through his head. How could he just let Nico sort things out? That would be like stepping back from a stab wound and letting nature run its course. It was his job to prevent death and infection from doing their job _as nature intended_. 

Eleanor’s worldview sounded good in theory, but Will couldn’t accept it. He’d save Nico, and the three of them would disperse this revel and save everyone else in it. That’s what quests and heroes were for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

Pedestrians parted ways for Nico as he stalked through Brooklyn. He knew he was glaring at the pavement and scaring mortals, but why should he care? He should focus on _fixing himself_. He would go into the revel, grab the talisman, and vaporize anyone in his way. Maybe that would fix things. More likely, Will would just yell at him for using his powers too often, and be horrified at Nico’s powers. Would Will still want to fix Nico then? Or was Nico just another project for Will to work on, before he found another patient to fuss over?

Nico knew he stood before the revel without even looking up. His heartbeat didn’t feel like his own. There were dozens more hearts that pulsed to the rhythm of his own. Or maybe his own heart was pumping to the beat of others. The broken building in front of him shimmered. The cracks running down the contorted themselves into intricate, vine-like patterns, and the steel door looked like a black curtain, just waiting to be pushed aside.

Nico took a deep breath and stared into the darkness. He could feel the revel’s power on him already. He wouldn’t let himself get distracted. He had traversed Daedalus’ Labyrinth for more than a year. He could handle an overblown rave. The air grew warmer and thicker as he entered the revel, as if he was breathing in more than air. Something tugged at his gut, like it had been caught by a string and was being reeled in.

Another breath. He had to control himself. Remember why he was here. He could do this. He had to show Will he could do this.

Nico descended a staircase lit with red neon lights. A high pitched ringing entered his head, making his body twitch with newfound energy. Sweaty and rumpled revelers pushed against him, and some even trailed a hand across his arms as he walked past. His body burned with the lingering sensation of their touch and his stomach ached with wanting more.

Nico took another breath and emerged into a cluster of bodies jumping and swaying in tune. He had to find the talisman, had to find it. But the twisting limbs and hips drew him in, and a heat that had nothing to do with lack of ventilation rushed over him. The ringing in his head grew and then he was pressed up against others who were jumping, and so Nico jumped with them, and their movement was his movement, and was this what it felt like to be part of something? 

No. The Maenads were controlling him. He had to get away, had to become a shadow. He took a deep breath and started to fade away. The room dimmed and drifted away. The music passed through him, while he phased through the throng of dancers. He bounced between the ever shifting shadows, the effects of the revel sliding off him like blood sliding down his sword. He passed through a flailing woman with bruises on her neck, past another man jumping up and down in place, and could focus on finding the talisman. 

It was nowhere to be found. Nico drifted through the crowds, through muscular bouncers and a stage where figures towered and danced over him. And soon he didn’t even notice when he drifted through people. He was alone in this packed room, touching no one, and no one could touch him. Maybe he would roam here forever, looking for something that wasn’t even here. His eyelids were so heavy, and though he still floated through the room he could barely move his legs. If he closed his eyes, he might sink into the earth itself, and right now that didn’t sound too bad. 

Someone grabbed his arm. Nico gasped in shock at the feeling of something physical. It all came crashing down as he rushed back into the world: the pounding music with a quick heartbeat beneath it, the thick smell of sweat and life, and the flashing lights and colors. He looked around him, for the person who had pulled him back into the mortal world. “Will?”

“The name’s Ash.” A teenager with wavy black hair and grey eyes behind him said. “You okay? You looked like you were going to disappear.”

“Maybe that was the plan.”

“Who’d want to fade away?” Ash hadn’t let go of Nico’s arm, and Nico couldn’t bring himself to pull away. 

“Me.” 

“And who are you?” Ash replied. His hair flickered in the strobe lights, like heavy clouds that danced with lightning.

“Just a shadow.” Nico mumbled. He had to admit it felt reassuring to feel someone keep him standing. Someone there for him.

“No you’re not.” Ash laughed as he held Nico’s other arm. “You’re more real than a shadow.”

“Who says shadows aren’t real?” Nico let Ash hold him at shoulder length and swayed with him.

“I do.” Ash said. “They’re just places where light doesn’t exist?”

“Maybe you haven’t lived with enough shadows.” Nico said. The music around him hit a faster tempo, and he was moving his feet with Ash, caught up in an inexorable tempo.

“Why would I?” Ash laughed again. “I’d just get more lights.”

“Where do you get lights?” Nico’s arms rested on Ash’s waist, feeling unnatural and comfortable at the same time.

Ash gestured around him. “From the things you love.”

It was stupid and sentimental and Ash was on too many drugs, judging by the way he kept on laughing. But Nico let his hand linger on Ash’s waist. “And what if you’re not around anything you love?”

“Impossible.” Ash grinned. “You can love anything if you really study it.”

“I don’t think there’s anything I love. I don’t even know what the word means.”

“That’s tragic.” Ash cupped Nico’s cheek in his hand, and Nico felt so warm. 

“That’s life.” Nico pushed a pang of sadness down and looked away from Ash’s brilliant face. 

“Then life is tragic.” 

“If you think so.”

“I do think so.”

Nico’s face was inches away from Ash’s taut neck, and his arms somehow felt comfortable around Ash’s waist. “Is that why you’re here? Because life is tragic?”

“That’s why we’re all here.” Ash said. “Because life doesn’t have to be tragic down here.”

“Why not?” Nico had to remember what Eleanor had told him about the Maenads. But that had been above ground, when he was alone, and his heartbeat had been the only one he had ever felt. 

“Can’t you see?” Ash stepped back and flung his arms outwards. “Everyone is here, and everyone loves each other.”

Nico felt colder as Ash stepped back, but he clung to the conversation. “I told you, I don’t know what that means.”

“I want to show you.” Ash said. He moved closer again. Nico didn’t move, just kept staring at Ash’s sharp face as he moved closer. Nico wrapped an arm around Ash and leaned up as Ash kissed him. 

It was comfortable and anti-climatic. Nico closed his eyes and drank in Ash’s warmth, his rumpled shirt and leather jacket he had tied around his waist. But it did nothing for Nico. No sudden epiphany or surge of feelings. Just Ash’s lips and music that had really just been music all along. The Maenads pulsed beneath Nico’s feet and he had to find them. 

Nico pulled away, leaving one hand resting on Ash’s wrist. “Thanks, I guess. But I need to go.”

Ash didn’t seem to be taking it personally. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m looking for something.” Nico said. “There’s more to this revel, isn’t there? More that we’re not seeing.” 

“Maybe.” 

“Tell me.” 

“Sure you can handle it?”

Nico fixed him with his most withering glare. “You have no idea what I can handle.”

“No need to be all scary.” Ash squeezed Nico’s shoulder. “So what else do you think happens here?”

“Monsters.” Nico said. He shouldn’t be saying this, but he doubted Ash would remember this. “This place has magic. I want to see where it comes from.”

“You want more?” Ash asked. “This isn’t enough?”

“It’s not enough.” Nico said. “Where are they?”

“You’re looking for Maenads.”

“How do you know their names?” Nico asked. Ash wasn’t a demigod, and Nico would have seen through any glamours. 

“We all know their names, if we stay here long enough.” Ash linked his arms around Nico’s neck and pulled him in, so he could whisper into Nico’s ear. “Our hearts become their hearts, our bodies become theirs to use.”

“Take me to them.” Nico tugged on Ash’s jacket that was tied around his waist. 

“They don’t see just anyone.” Nico closed his eyes as Ash’s warm breath tickled his neck. 

“I’m not just anyone.”

“Maybe not, but they don’t want shadows and ghosts in their circle.”

“I thought you said I was more real than a shadow.”

“But you are, but you’re missing something.” Ash said. “You just exist, there’s nothing you want.”

“I’m telling you what I want.” Nico yanked Ash closer to him, gave him his characteristic glare that scared every demigod he knew.

“You’re not hungry enough.” Ash shook his head, unfazed by Nico’s narrowed eyes. “Maenads only see people with real desire, real hunger.”

“What do you mean real hunger?” Nico drew away. Ash’s words felt like a sword in his belly.

“I felt it when we kissed. You didn’t want to, you just did it because it was easy.”

Nico shoved him back. “Do I need to prove myself to you too?”

“You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.”

“Sure feels like it.” Nico yanked himself from Ash and started shoving his way through the crowd. Their sweat felt disgusting on his skin, and the stench made him want to vomit. He’d find the Maenads on his own. Who needed Ash, or Will and Eleanor? They had all left, and Nico was on his own. And that was life, not some drugged up love-filled fantasy Ash had tried preaching.

He almost considering leaving the revel. Will would look so relieved that Nico was safe. But they would both know he had failed. 

Ash caught up to him and turned him around. “Look, I’m sorry.”

“Why are you still here?” Nico asked. Why didn’t Ash find some other boy to make out with? 

“I didn’t mean to say you’re not good enough or something.” Ash said. “It’s hard to explain, what hunger really feels like, how it can even feel good sometimes.”

“You’re not making any sense.” Nico folded his arms. “You never make any sense.”

“I know.” Ash said. “That’s why I wanted to say sorry. And to give you this.”

Ash held out what looked like a shrivelled plum. “If you take it, everything feels more real. You’ll feel more real. All of you. You won’t be a ghost anymore.”

Persephone had eaten damned fruit and even now paid the consequences. But the thought of failure was stronger. Nico took the fruit and bit into it. It tasted tart, like a sour apple with a bitter aftertaste. Nico watched Ash’s face carefully, but he didn’t seem apprehensive or scared for Nico. Merely interested in what would happen. 

Nico finished the fruit and dropped the core on the ground. He wiped his hands on his cargo pants and shrugged. “I feel the same.”

“Not for long.” Ash held out his hand, and Nico took it. He followed Ash through the crowds until they reached an archway Nico had somehow missed before. Ash smiled back at him. “You sure about this?”

Nico didn’t dignify that with a response. He descended the staircase, which turned out to be made of packed dirt. Ash’s breathing echoed in the staircase, and the earth pushed down on Nico. He kept his hands on the earthen walls to steady himself, while Ash laid a reassuring hand on Nico’s shoulder from behind. 

The two of them emerged from a small cave into a forest. Nico didn’t care how there was a forest beneath Brooklyn. Hundreds of creatures moved as one. There was no music, except for deep drumming that shook the branches of the trees and made ripples in the river to Nico’s right, which ran straight through the forest. A swarm of Centaurs and Satyrs stomping their hooves shoved Nico aside as they almost trampled him. Nico stumbled back into Ash as they shook their horns into the air and whooped. 

“You okay?” Ash said. His voice resounded in Nico’s head, as if it meant something important that Nico couldn’t discern. Nico wanted to hear more of it, feel Ash’s chest vibrate as he spoke. The forest shimmered with the high timbre of Ash’s voice. Nico leaned into Ash and said, “I’m good. Are you?”

Ash stepped into the revel and cold air rushed to fill in the space he had once occupied. “I’m always good. You should explore.”

“But what about you?” Ash was leaving him. It wasn’t fair.

“I’ll find you later.” Ash said. “You should have some fun first. Explore your new world.”

Before Nico could protest, Ash leapt onto a centaur and disappeared into true revel. Nico leaned against a tree, relishing the feeling of rough bark on his skin. The tree curved and twisted around him, like they were meant to cradle and love people. That must mean that people were meant to be cradled and loved, which means that he was supposed to be cradled and loved. 

The epiphany struck Nico with the force of a thunderbolt. Sunlight couldn’t reach this forest, and he was free. Free to breathe and laugh and just _be_. Everywhere he looked, the souls of each being glowed and pulsed, as vibrant as their surroundings. The souls felt like lightning in a jar just waiting to be released, sparks flying from one soul to another, the sheer force of life in these creatures arcing into the sky. Of course everyone was jumping and dancing; their souls were doing the same. 

The energy of the crowd washed over Nico, and he waded into it like an ocean. A rough hand rested on Nico’s shoulder. It belonged to a glassy eyed centaur who flicked his head towards his back. With a grin, Nico vaulted onto him and clung to its soft mane. There was something exhilarating about feeling its muscles flex as the centaur started riding through the forest. Wind whipped wisps of his mine into Nico’s face, and the tickling sensation made him laugh and laugh. How much power was contained in the heart of this centaur? Could Nico hold its heart, if he wished, or would it prove too heavy for him?

He jumped off and sprinted through the revel. There was more to see, always more to see. He crashed into other creatures and they crashed into him, and he danced and jumped and waved his limbs around, and felt like he could conquer the world. His heart tugged, like something was pulling him up and up. And so he ran some more, only stopping when he reached the river he saw in the background. 

He jumped in and was splashing other humans, and he never thought other people could be so beautiful. The droplets of water felt like they were cleansing him, and he laughed and danced with them. They hadn’t changed It just felt like Nico had seen a beauty that hadn’t been there before. He was so used to seeing death in people, and now he could see life. He held their hands as they jumped around in the water, and they ran more laps around the forest. Two of them stumbled off holding hands. Another girl wrapped her arms around Nico, but he gently pushed her away. Nico leaned back against a tree, his chest heaving with exertion.

“Where’s your shirt?” Ash wandered over to him with a broken branch held over his head. He stroked his face with it and giggled. 

“Somewhere over there.” Nico gestured to the river. “I went swimming.”

“Yeah, I can see that.” Ash poked Nico with the branch. “You were having fun.”

“Who isn’t?” Nico batted the branch away, but had to admit the branch felt nice on his skin.

“It was nice watching you.” The branch returned with a vengeance, making Nico giggle.

“You don’t need to watch me.” Nico tugged the branch out of Ash’s hands. “I can take care of myself.”

“I know I don’t need to.” Ash laughed. He pushed Nico back against a tree. “But I wanted to.”

Ash’s eyes glinted, like a spark made from flint and steel. His skin felt as charged and strong as storm clouds, and when Nico kissed him he was drinking lightning. It surged through his chest and torso, making him ache and press himself into Ash. But the closeness he felt wasn’t enough. Even as Ash shoved Nico against the tree and grinded his erection against Nico’s hips, he needed more. 

Ash’s hands were at Nico’s jeans while Nico kissed his neck and clawed at his shirt. As Nico’s jeans were forced down to his knees, Nico wrapped his legs around Ash while Ash fumbled at his own pants. He rested his head on Ash’s shoulder and buried his head into thick hair. It still wasn’t enough. Ash could touch and kiss him until the world ended, and Nico would still die wanting more. 

He let out an involuntary whimper as Ash’s fingers, inexplicably slick, slid into him. Nico’s lips found their way to Ash’s, and he tasted a deep hunger that wiped away any reservations and awareness he had. No longer was he in a forest, or in a revel, or underneath some mortal city. Will, Eleanor, Percy, Reyna, everyone he knew was driven out of his mind until all he knew was Ash: his damp torso moving against Nico’s, his hands holding Nico against the tree, his hot breath driving a primal desire into Nico beyond anything he had felt before. He bit at Ash’s shoulder until he drew blood, causing Ash to gasp and drive himself even harder into Nico. 

Nico flung his head back in ecstasy, but glanced at Ash’s own face. His grey eyes were lifeless and empty, and his hunger felt less like desire and more like desperation. Why did Ash cling to him so tightly? And why did it feel so good? Why did Nico shiver at how much Ash needed him and crave more? He forced himself down on Ash, and he wanted Ash to carry him away from the gods and their creations. As Ash moved faster, he drove away Nico’s nightmares and dreams and memories of the world above, until all Nico’s mind could hold onto were their names.

Nico couldn’t say for sure when Ash climaxed, or even when Ash left. All he knew was when awareness returned and the dark forest came rushing back, Ash was gone. He lay crumpled in the embrace of the tree roots. That need for someone, for anyone, which Ash had satiated, was coming back. Slowly, but inevitably, he’d need someone again. Someone as transient and as hungry as Ash had been. As he was now.

The Maenads were calling him, and Nico knew he could find others like him if he just stayed here. He wouldn’t have to remember anything. Wouldn’t have to face Will’s judgement or the fear of his peers at Camp Half-Blood. Wouldn’t have to face his father in the Underworld. He could dance with them for eternity. He closed his eyes, and let the cold earth swallow him whole.

* * *

Will would need so much hand sanitizer after this quest. He and Eleanor squeezed down a dimly lit staircase that led to the revel while several people breathed and even coughed on him. He couldn’t have guessed that one staircase behind the innocuous looking grey door could hold so many people. They burst out into a crowd of hundreds of people, all sweating and gyrating to a repetitive beat. He could feel it, something trying to drag him down, make him dance like the puppets along with the other humans, but he had to resist. Nico needed him. He turned to Eleanor. “How do we find Nico?”

“We should look for the Maenads.”

“All I see are humans.” Will said. Not that there couldn’t be Maenads in the crowd. People in the middle were packed so thickly together Will didn’t even think they should be able to move.

“They wouldn’t be out here.” Eleanor craned her neck, looking around her. “We need help finding the Maenads. Some kind of recommendation.”

“What kind of recommendation?” Will held his hands at chest length to stop people from crashing into him. How did Eleanor look so at ease in these spaces? “Do we need some kind of letter?”

“We need to eat fruit from the trees that Maenads grow.” Eleanor started walking along the walls, scoping out potential candidates. “They tune us into the Maenads, allow us to find our way to their congregation.”

“What do you mean eat fruit?” Will followed as close as he could. “Is this like Underworld fruit?” He glanced around a basement the size of a warehouse. How had the Maenads managed to build a room like this beneath Brooklyn? 

“No, you can still leave this place.” Eleanor rolled her eyes at him. “It just makes you feel more festive, more like a Maenad.”

“It’s a drug?” Will couldn’t believe Eleanor wanted to drug herself. 

“It’s just food.” Eleanor said. “And do you want to find Nico or not?”

“Does it affect your mood?” Will pointed at the senseless crowd. “Does it make you more like them?”

“It loosens you up.” Eleanor said. “But you’ll be able to keep your cool.” She dived into a circle of delirious dancers and came back with what looked like large, wrinkled pills. “Do you want to do this quest or not?”

“I—” It was a drug. And it would turn him into just another reveller. He glanced back at the crowd, trying to find the people Eleanor had stolen the drug from. But they were lost, drops of water in the storm of oblivious dancers. 

Was that what he would become? Just another puppet caught in a sea of people, uncaring and unknowing of their surroundings? They scared him, with their vacant eyes and flailing limbs. They didn’t care for each other. They were being pushed and shoved, like raindrops blown about by gusts of wind. What if he hurt someone while he was with them? How could he face Nico after becoming one of them?

“Hey, it’s okay.” Eleanor ate one of the fruits and discarded the other one on the ground. She held Will’s hands and squeezed them. “You don’t have to. I’ll find Nico and meet you outside, okay?”

Will nodded and Eleanor disappeared into the crowd. Why had Rachel sent him here? Wasn’t he supposed to be fighting Maenads? How could he do that if he was too much of a coward to venture deeper into the revel? The fruit Eleanor had discarded on the floor was gone. Probably trodden and smeared across peoples’ shoes.

A woman crashed into Will, who quickly grabbed the figure by her arms to stop her from falling. Will propped the woman against the wall, and she promptly slid down to the floor. Will stood in front of her to prevent her from getting trampled on and asked, “Are you okay?”

“I’m good.” The woman’s cheeks were red, and her hot skin was devoid of sweat. She grabbed Will’s arm and said, “You’re new, right?”

“I am.” Will reached into his backpack for a bottle of water.

“That’s cool, that’s cool.” The woman looked past Nico. “Always cool to see new people, you know?” He tugged on Nico’s arm again. “I’m Alex, by the way.”

“Hi, Alex. You’re going to be okay.” Will handed her the bottle of water, and for a moment, everything felt like normal.

“Thanks.” Alex leaned against Will’s shoulder. “You’re cool.”

Will waited until Alex had finished the bottle of water. She spilt half of it on her black tank top, and more trickled down her bandaged arm. “We should get you out of here.”

Alex laughed and pulled away. “No.”

“What?”

“I said no.” Alex leaned on the wall and pushed herself upright.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m staying here.” Alex swayed, and Will quickly stood up to catch her if she fell. 

“This isn’t healthy for you.”

“Do I look like I care what’s healthy?” 

“You don’t get it.” Will grabbed Alex by the wrist and started dragging her out. “This is a matter of life and death.”

Alex wrenched herself free from Will, falling back down in the process. “You’re the one who doesn’t get it. I don’t care about life or death.” She raised a finger at Will. “And don’t touch me again.”

“You can’t even walk.” Will knelt beside her as she picked herself up. 

“Not with that attitude.” 

“This isn’t funny.”

“Anything’s funny with the right attitude.” Alex grinned at him, but her glazed eyes stared right past him. “That’s what you need, friend, the right attitude.”

“You need to get out of here.” Will said. “You’re not thinking straight.”

“Sounds about right.” Alex grinned at the floor, as if she had heard an inside joke. “I’m thinking clear for the first time in my life.”

“That’s the drugs talking.”

“It’s me talking.” Alex’s vacant smile fell away and she stood up straighter. The purple lights covered one side of her face in shadow. With her blonde hair tied behind her, she radiated a startling dignity that silenced Will. “You’re the one who doesn’t want me thinking for myself. You’re the one trying to take me where you’re comfortable, where people play by the rules you love. Well, you’re down here now. And you don’t have any power over me, or any of us.”

“That’s not—” Will stammered. The crowd swallowed her up, but Will dived in after her. The crowd battered him around, like a leaf in a storm. He forced his way through the shifting walls of flesh until he caught sight of Alex. She shifted with ease through the crowd, always in front of Will. The music deafened him, and everyone blurred around him. 

He took a deep breath and kept on going. He couldn’t lose sight of her. He was her only chance of surviving this trap. Praying to his father for strength, he kept on going. Sweat stung his eyes, and he whipped his sticky hair to the side. After swimming through an army of revelers, he finally caught up to Alex and put a hand on his shoulder. She turned around in dismay and threw his hand away. “You think you know me so goddamn well.”

Will had to shout over the music to her himself, but he wouldn’t let that stop him. “I don’t know you. But I know your body, and what it can take.”

“You have no idea about this body or what I can take.” Alex danced even as they talked, her feet and hips shifting in time to the music. “You give me water and suddenly I owe you?”

“I’m not saying you owe me.”

“I just need to listen and do whatever you say.” Alex sneered. “Got it.”

“But why aren’t you listening? Is it just because I’m saying something you don’t want to hear?”

Alex yanked him close by the shirt collar. “You aren’t my fucking dad. Don’t try and tell me what to do.”

Will blinked, and Alex used the chance to shove Will away. Before Will could pull himself away anything, Alex blended into the rest of the crowd, one more person in the storm of dancers. Will yelled, but others shoved him away, and he couldn’t make his way back. The air stank of sweat and bad breath, and Will needed to throw up. After being shoved against a wall, Will clung to it like an anchor while he threw up on someone else’s shoes.

No one noticed. Bare feet and boots and trainers stirred up his vomit and left Will clinging to the walls. Will shuffled along the side, hoping he would eventually stumble on the door out. He closed his eyes as he walked, and could almost see Alex defying him again. The way the music and people seemed to curve around her as she stood tall. _You’re down here now. You don’t have any power over me, or anyone else._

Then why else was he on this quest? Why did Rachel send him? The Oracle was never wrong, but maybe they had misinterpreted it. Alex was right. He had no power down here. There was no one he could heal or help. The Maenads had corrupted them and they were beyond saving. He could only hope Eleanor reached Nico before it was too late. 

A hint of wind brushed Will’s cheek, and he opened his eyes to see the entrance in front of him. He pushed past more people lounging in the opening and slouched on the stairs, stepping over people passed out on the stairwell. Part of him wanted to drag these unconscious people out. They were so close to freedom. But Alex’s defiant face stopped him from even trying. It was all he could do to drag himself out of the basement and emerge into fresh air.

The fresh air and night sky never felt so liberating. Everything felt lighter. Will could breathe easier, and didn’t have to fight an entire crowd just to move. He sat on the edge of the sidewalk and cradled his head in both hands. He took deep breaths, and reached for his water bottle. But it had been lost in the revel beneath him. He sat there in a daze for gods knew how long. Why did Alex’s proud face torment him? The way she owned her self-destruction, understood Will’s warnings and ignore them anyways? 

_You don’t have any power_

Will shivered again, and his sweat was growing cold on his skin. How could he help someone so intent and deliberate on harming themselves? How could he explain to them what they already knew? He was helpless against such pride, such dignified destruction. 

Someone shook his shoulder, almost throwing him into the street, and he jerked his head up. Eleanor was panting and sweat streamed down her fur. She had discarded her fake legs, but in the darkness and with the help of the Mist, none of the mortals seemed to notice. Around her shoulder was Nico. His pupils were dilated and unseeing, and he shuffled like he was sleepwalking. Bruises dotted his neck, but Will tried to ignore them.

“Nico!” Will felt a surge of relief, quickly followed by internal lists of how to treat Nico. “Are you okay?”

Nico nodded listlessly, like a boat bobbing up and down in the aftermath of a squall. “I’m good, I’m good.” He slowly gazed up at Will. “I’m here, aren’t I?” He reached out a hand to paw at Will. Will batted the hand away and, ignoring Nico’s hurt expression, said, “You’re not okay. Hold on a sec.”

Nico turned to Eleanor and grinned vacantly. “I love it when he listens. It shows he really respects and values you.”

Will valiantly ploughed on. “I don’t have any water, but I have some ambrosia if you need it”

Nico knocked the square of ambrosia out of Will’s hand. “I swear to god, Will, if you start lecturing me about your healthy eating brand of first aid, I will end you.”

Will flinched. “I’m just trying to help.”

“No you’re not.” Nico laughed again, even as he staggered and almost fell onto the road. “You’re just trying to ease your conscience.”

“So all of this, everything I do, is for me?”

“All of what?” Nico yelled. “You don’t know how to fix me, you don’t know how to fix Dani, so you tell us to drink fucking water instead of admitting it.”

“So I’m in denial? Is that it?” Will tried to remain calm, but Nico’s rage meant he didn’t care anymore. What good had patience done? “You’re the one in denial, acting like you’re fine and everything’s okay when it isn’t. The moment you realize that you have issues—”

“Then what?” Nico shouted. Tears streamed down his face, “I’ll magically stop having night terrors? I’ll finally be able to sleep for one goddamn night and the campers will magically stop being scared of me? I won’t wake up feeling like a shadow about to fade away?”

“Nico, I—” 

“I know how fucked up I am. Happy? I know that I shouldn’t shadow travel, and have nightmares that keep me up, and isolate myself from everyone. How stupid do you think I am?” Nico’s face blurred with tears and for a moment his face was replaced with Alex’s defiant one.

“Then why do you do it?” Will whispered. He wouldn’t cry in front of Nico. Not when Nico was the one suffering. 

Nico deflated, like someone had poked a hole in him. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit.” Will’s tone was softer, but no less intense than Nico’s. “You call me out for not understanding, then don’t explain anything to me?”

Nico looked Will in the eye for the first time that night. Nico’s empty eyes focused with frightening speed on him. In a second Will was judged and felt utterly known by the wayward son of Hades. All his lies were torn away. “You’re not, you,” Nico mumbled. “You’re not hungry enough.”

“What?” But Will didn’t have time to ponder Nico’s response, for the moment of clarity was gone, and Nico’s eyes rolled upwards as he passed out. Eleanor caught him, while Will tried to unravel Nico’s cryptic message. Why did nothing make sense?

“What do we do?” He asked Eleanor.

“I called an Uber while you guys were having your fight.” Eleanor said. “So we’ll just wait until our driver comes.”

“I mean, about,” Will gestured at Nico. “What’s going to happen to him?”

“He’ll wake up in about twelve hours feeling like shit.” Eleanor said. “But he’ll be fine.”

“Did you hear any of what just happened?” Will wanted to explain everything to Eleanor, but he hiccuped, and tears started streaming down his face. Eleanor rubbed his back while he tried to control himself. “Look, I know it seems like everything’s gone to shit. But we’ll go back to that motel, get a room, and work something out tomorrow.”

“But what if we don’t?”

“We will.” Eleanor said. “We’re all tired, physically and mentally. No one can think straight after a revel.”

Will couldn’t stop crying, but understood the value in what Eleanor was saying. Maybe things actually would be better after some sleep. Even in his head, the words were hollow. He lifted his head up when Eleanor stopped rubbing his back, not wanting to admit he had enjoyed it. 

Eleanor retrieved her pipes and started playing. Deep and pure notes like wind rushing through a canyon, floated out of her pipes to coax Will to sleep. It didn’t take much. Will felt himself relax as Eleanor kept on playing. Her fingers danced along her pipes, and as Will closed her eyes, he could imagine breathing in the wild, untouched air of nature. And for once, the wilderness didn’t scare him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that went well.  
> I had initially planned on splitting this chapter in two, but wanted to do the whole revel scene at once. Some of the conversations seemed awkward, but let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

Nico didn’t want to open his eyes. His entire body felt too heavy, and he just wanted to lie on the floor for the rest of the day. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked around. Eleanor lounged on one of the motel beds watching National Geographic. Will was nowhere in sight.

“No, the bonobos are gay for each other.” Eleanor yelled at the TV. “That grunting is them saying that they want to fuck.”

“Where’s Will?” Nico mumbled. He tried sitting up, but it was too much effort. He flopped back down into the tangle of blankets he lay in.

“Gone to get lunch. He just left.” Eleanor leaned over and held out two styrofoam cups in her hands. “I’ve got some coffee here if you want it. There’s some ambrosia on the table in front of you, if you can reach it.”

“I’ll manage.” Nico gulped down the first cup of cold coffee. “You said Will was getting lunch?”

“It’s almost one in the afternoon.” Eleanor switched the TV off and turned to face Nico.

Nico gulped down the second cup and dragged himself towards the table. “Thanks.”

“The coffee came with the motel. Only edible thing this place serves.”

Nico took a small bite of ambrosia. Warmth filled his body, and the motel room came into sharper focus. “I meant for last night.”

“You’re welcome.” 

Nico took another bite of ambrosia before wrapping it back up in aluminium foil. He downed the second cup of coffee and settled back down into the pile of bed sheets. When he looked back up, Eleanor still hadn’t turned the TV back on and was fiddling with her pan flutes. “I thanked you for last night, doesn’t mean I’m talking about it.”

“Never said you had to.” Eleanor said. “I’m not Will.”

“Yeah, Will wouldn’t have given me coffee.” He raised the pitch of his voice to match Will’s. “‘Caffeine addition ruins demigod lives. Give Nico orange juice instead, so the vitamin C can help him grow big and strong.’”

“That’s scary, he definitely said the thing about the coffee.”

“But not the orange juice?”

“Too processed. Apparently he doesn’t trust OJ without pulp. Who knows what chemicals are in there.” Eleanor gestured to the fridge and said. “He did bring up a pitcher of water.”

“Gods. Thanks for intervening.”

Eleanor remained silent for a few minutes, but still didn’t turn the TV on. Eventually Nico looked up at Eleanor and said, “Is this the part where I have to talk about myself?”

“If you want.”

“Do I have to?”

“No.”

“But you expect me to.” Nico knew Eleanor was waiting for him to open up. Why else would she not turn the TV back on?

“I really don’t care either way.” Eleanor said. “Nothing’s good on TV anyways. But people who lose their virginity usually want to talk about it the morning after, and gods knows you’re not gonna talk to Will.”

“I didn’t, I mean, it’s not a big deal.” Nico spluttered. “It just happened. Happens to everyone.”

“Not everyone gets found barely conscious with their pants down in the middle of a horde of Maenads.”

“ I knew what I was doing.” Nico glared at Eleanor, and he tried to fight the heat that rose in his cheeks. “I was in control, and I’m fine with what happened.”

“Okay.” Eleanor nodded. Her lack of response made Nico calm down.

“And it’s not a big deal.” Nico repeated. 

“Okay.”

The two of them sat in silence for a minute. Nico usually preferred not talking, but couldn’t help but be curious. “Um, can I ask what your first time was like?”

“Pretty normal.” Eleanor said. “I wasn’t expecting that much since I’m asexual, but I thought it was something I should try, and the naiaid who sweet talked me into it was nice.”

Eleanor’s response invited several different questions, like how she had been sweet talked into anything. But Nico asked, “Asexual? So that’s like, you don’t want to have sex with anyone?”

“It varies a little between asexuals. For me, I don’t mind it if it’s with someone I’m into. But it’s not something I get a craving for.”

“So you’ve never had feelings for anyone?” Nico was a little envious. He wondered what Cupid would make of her.

“I am capable of having romantic feelings, as hard as that is to believe.”

“It kind of is hard to believe.” Nico smiled. “You’ve got the tough loner thing down.”

“How do you think the naiaid sweet talked me? It wasn’t as if she sold me on how clean her river was.”

“By how clean her river was, do you mean—”

“Anyways, romantic feelings are different from sexual feelings.” Eleanor grinned. “Like, I’m guessing you were turned on by your lucky suitor, but you don’t want to spend eternity with him.”

Nico had come close. If Eleanor hadn’t dragged him away from the underground forest, he and Ash would likely have died there. He would have brooded for the rest of the day if Eleanor hadn’t kept on talking. “On the other hand, even though you might not want to fuck Will, you might feel romantically for him.”

Nico leapt to his feet, and was too aware of how quickly his heart was beating. “I don’t have romantic feelings for Will.”

Eleanor raised an eyebrow, and Nico realized his outburst had cemented the idea in Eleanor’s mind. “The only interaction I have had with Will is being annoyed by him.” He forced himself to speak in a reasonable tone. “Will pisses me off, but I don’t have feelings for him.”

“I’ve seen how you deal with people who piss you off.” Eleanor said. “That’s not how you deal with Will.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you want to scare people off, you do.” Eleanor said. “I’ve heard the rumors about what you did to that Ares kid.”

“Okay, Samuel is an asshole and picks fights with literally everyone. So it’s not like me kicking him around was a big deal.” Nico wondered what version of the incident Eleanor had heard. Tales of how he had dealt with the belligerent son of Ares had circulated around camp until people believed Nico had summoned the Furies themselves to deal with Sam. Nico had been slightly insulted. It was like no one believed he could beat up Sam on his own. 

“Or how you instill the fear of Hades into Clovis?”

“First of all, his cabin kept on trying to sell me on their version of enchanted sleep.” Nico said. “Secondly, Clovis actually has a sense of self-preservation which Will clearly lacks. That's why it’s so easy to scare him.” Nico said. 

“So you’re saying Will Solace, the boy who makes sure his friends are fully hydrated and carries the world’s biggest first aid kit around with him, doesn’t have a sense of self-preservation?”

“If he does, then why is he so obsessed with me?” Nico realized he was waving his hands and forcefully stopped.

“Maybe he knows you won’t hurt him.”

“Doesn’t make it any better that he doesn’t listen. He can’t live with the idea that there might be someone out there he can’t heal.”

“Maybe that’s part of his charm.” Eleanor winked at him.

“There is no charm.” Nico protested. “Will is like, anti-charm. Every time I see him, I’m negatively attracted to him. I bet if he’d been with me, I wouldn’t have made out with Ash.”

“Ash being the guy you hooked up with?”

“Yeah, he didn’t make much sense.” Nico was grateful for how matter-of-fact Eleanor was acting about last night. It made things easier to talk about. “He said that I had to be hungry to meet the Maenads, that they only wanted people with strong desires.”

“Mortals always try to rationalize the magical effects of the Maenads.” Eleanor said. “Hunger, the desire to fill some hole in you, it makes you more susceptible to Maenads. But that’s not a universal thing.”

“But I felt hungry when Ash and I,” Nico didn’t want to put into words what he had done last night. It left a sour taste in his mouth, and the fact that he remembered how good it felt didn’t help. “I felt the Maenads feeding on my desires. Like, they brought my feelings to the surface and fed off of it.”

“The fruit makes you more open: to the Maenads, and to Ash. Ash talked about this hunger of his, and it reminded you of your own wants.”

“But I felt like someone else. Like I was just watching myself do everything.”

“Maenads amplify what you’re feeling, even the ones you don’t want to admit to yourself.” Eleanor’s face softened, and she reached over to lay a hand on Nico’s shoulder. When he didn’t protest, she continued. “They might have enhanced what you were feeling, help you lose control, but that hunger you’re describing, the hunger Ash was talking about, that came from you.”

“Well, that sucks.” Nico laughed humorlessly. 

“What sucks?”

“The fact that the hunger came from me.” He looked away from Eleanor, and as he breathed, he could almost feel Ash’s hand in his hair. He rubbed his hipbone where Ash’s fingers had dug into him. The memory aroused nothing in him, feeling as stale as an empty promise. “I had no control. I couldn’t remember why we were there. All that mattered was what I wanted. And what I wanted wasn’t even worth it.”

“Well, if you don’t like how you acted last night, then just don’t do it next time.”

“Easier said than done.”

“I mean, yeah, changing is hard.” Eleanor laughed. “But that’s the best thing about nature. About people and monsters. We can change. Everyone can, even you.”

Will burst through the door armed with grocery bags. He glanced at Nico before focusing on taking off his shoes. “Good, you’re up. Have you drank water?”

“Yes.” Nico lied. “And I had some ambrosia.” His heart pounded as he remembered every single accusation he had said to Will the night before. Why couldn’t the revel had induced short-term memory loss, like he heard alcohol did. 

“Well, more vitamins won’t hurt.” Will looked doggedly at the small table as he laid out the groceries. Three vegetarian wraps and a liter bottle of orange juice with pulp replaced a broken lamp. “I’m not sure what symptoms of being in a revel are like, so for now let’s just work on replacing your fluids and vitamins.”

“Thanks.” Nico muttered. He was still waiting for Will to talk about last night. He had acted horribly and deserved to get called out for it, but he still wasn’t looking forward to it. Not only did Will’s lectures make you feel like shit, they were _boring_.

“We also need to come up with a plan for getting the relic.” Will concentrated on pouring out orange juice into the plastic cups that had been sitting on the empty mini-fridge. “Did you or Eleanor notice anything about the Maenads?”

Nico had been too occupied with everything around him to notice Maenads or the relic. He had really messed up. “There were lots of trees, and a river flowing through it. I didn’t see any Maenads, though. Only humans, centaurs, and satyrs.”

“Any idea on how we find the relic?” Will passed Eleanor a cup of orange juice and a vegetarian wrap. “Also, I didn’t know what you liked to eat. Is this okay?”

“That’s fine.” Eleanor nibbled on the wrap, unconcerned at Will deliberately avoiding his argument last night between him and Nico. “I don’t know what humans see in mayo though. It’s plain unnatural.”

Eleanor chewed and swallowed half of the wrap before she continued. “The Maenads feed off of the energy of the revellers. I think Nico can sense this and follow their souls to the source.”

“I couldn’t last night.” Nico said. Everyone’s souls had been pulsing around him, pushing outwards, clawing for more, but they weren’t being pulled anywhere.

“Because you weren’t concentrating.” Eleanor said. “I’ll go in with you this time. I’ll tell you what to look for.”

“Do you need me for anything?” Will seemed to sag on the bed opposite Eleanor. 

“Can you stay on the first level, in the basement?” Eleanor said. “If something goes wrong, I want you as backup.”

“I’m not much of a fighter.” Will frowned. “I don’t spend much time sparring.”

“Don’t sell yourself short.” Eleanor punched him on the shoulder. “You’ve fought in plenty of battles, and we’ll need you.”

Will opened his mouth but closed it again, choosing to stare at the blank TV. What was happening? Why wasn’t Will angry at him? Demanding to talk about the events of last night? He didn’t even carry himself with his usual insufferable sense of purpose. Was this all because of their fight last night?

But before Nico could say anything, Will gathered up the trash from their lunch. “I’ll go find somewhere to throw these away.” He didn’t make eye contact with Nico or Eleanor as he left.

“Should I go talk to him?” Nico asked. 

“No point.” Eleanor said. “We still need to talk about tonight.”

“But he was acting really weird. You noticed, right?”

“I’d have to be a pretty self-absorbed teenager not too.”

Nico couldn’t help grinning at the jab. “Okay, I deserved that.”

“Obviously Will’s going through something.” Eleanor said. “But unless he opens up to you, I wouldn’t pry.”

“I guess.” Normally not talking to Will would be easy. But not now. Seeing Will so unsure was unnerving. What was worse, Nico was pretty sure their shouting match last night was the cause of Will’s turmoil, and feeling responsible for Will was an unpleasant and unfamiliar feeling. “So you think I can find out where the Maenads are?”

“I do.” Eleanor said. “Just focus and everything will be fine.”

“And if I can’t focus?” In times like these he felt too much like a shadow, flickering with the flashing strobe lights, at the mercy of the people around him.

“Then I make you focus.” Eleanor knelt in front of him and held his hands in both of hers, and for some reason Nico didn’t recoil. “You can stay in control. Trust me.” 

“I don’t know if I can.” Nico said. “Last night,” He paused before continuing. “Last night, I forgot why we were there, all I cared about was what was Ash, and the way he made me feel.”

“Because you hadn’t experienced anything like it before.” Eleanor said. “Trust me, with me there, with you on high alert, after some rest, you’ll be fine.” Up close, the now-familiar sour scent of plant sap and soil grew strong. 

Nico inhaled deeper, and his breaths evened out. “We find the Maenads and take the relic.”

Eleanor nodded. “You might need to do the thing where you can phase through things. The Maenads usually gather around whatever relic they’ve chosen.”

“I’m allowed to do that?” Nico raised his eyebrows.

“Can you? Without hurting yourself?”

“For a short time, yeah.”

“You might need to shadow travel out of there too.”

“If it’s just me, that won’t be a problem.” Nico said. He chuckled. “It’s weird, being told to shadow travel and stuff. Will would never let me.”

“If you think you can, then do it. If not, tell me.” Eleanor said. “I don’t have time to read into everything you say. So if you need to say something, you need to say it.”

“Sounds good.” Nico said. “And I can do it. Will you be able to get out of the revel without me?”

“I’ll be fine.” Eleanor said. “Just worry about yourself and getting the relic out of there.”

“That plan sounds really simple.” Nico said. “It almost seems too simple.”

“Sounds like you’re used to complicating everything.” Eleanor turned the TV on again. “The more complicated a plan is, the more things can go wrong.”

“I guess that’s true.” Nico felt like there was more he should be doing, but couldn’t see any way to improve Eleanor’s plan. Currently, she was watching the nature channel again and yelling at the oblivious commentator again. Apparently the gorilla in question had been misgendered. 

Nico huddled back into the pile of blankets that had gathered at his feet. He should probably comfort Will at some point. And apologize. Nico huddled further down into his blankets, even though he was sweating underneath. He wished he could forget the events of last night, like alcohol was supposed to do. But the image of Will’s terrified face when Nico had been dragged out had etched itself into Nico’s mind. Nico could close his eyes and be back in the alleyway, seeing Will try to hide his disgust as he saw the hickeys on Nico’s neck and his dilated pupils. 

Even though Nico owed Will an apology, would Will even accept them? Some nights at camp, Nico would fantasize about talking with Will, and Will would smile and hold his hand and take him for a walk around the lake. The Naiads would smirk at them, and Nico would be embarrassed but secretly enjoy it. But Nico would also remember the forest of harsh sunlight and judgement. Will’s cold expression as he stepped into sunlight made Nico shiver, and he could almost feel the skin on his hand burning and flaking away.

Nico wrapped the blankets tighter around him. Eleanor was right. Will didn’t need him and could work out whatever he was going through by himself. He closed his eyes. Even if he couldn’t sleep, he’d still need strength for tonight. Gods knew he needed the strength.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think.


	6. Chapter 6

Night had fallen again, though it was impossible to tell underground. Down here, the lights and music played all day, sucking the souls out of everyone dancing. Once again, Nico had left, though this time he had Eleanor with him. Will kept on telling himself that Eleanor would keep him safe. Will drifted along the walls of the basement, trying to anchor himself beside the entrance to the Maenads while being buffeted around by jumping and stumbling revelers. 

As he stood there, more and more figures stumbled out of the crowd and slumped against the walls beside Will. One threw up, while another was shivering. Before he could control himself, Will was beside a reveler who crouched with his head squeezed between his legs. When Will touched his arm, the lack of sweat alarmed him, and he offered the bottle of water.

The reveler shook his head and pushed Will away before stumbling into the crowd again. When Will tried with the reveler who had vomited, the reveler simply laughed before moving away from Will. This time he didn’t give chase. Alex’s defiant face floated in front of his eyes. They would all reject help. There was nothing he could do for someone so devoted to their self-destruction. 

Nothing he could do for Nico.

The thought struck him out of nowhere, and all he could think about was Nico’s vacant eyes last night, and the anger that twisted his face as he stared at Will. He had made Nico hate him. Everything he had done to help Nico had done the opposite, driven Nico away from him and into the Maenads. If only Will had shut up on the van ride here, or in the motel, Nico wouldn’t have been lost down here last night. And everything from last night that he had repressed all day hit him at once. The empty hatred in Nico’s eyes from last night, Alex’s righteous anger at his attempt to interfere, his utter failure to treat Danielle’s mental wounds, all of them formed a wall of faces that had nothing but contempt for him.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” A voice cooed at him. 

Will looked up to see a woman in a grey tank top with black hair that covered her face as she leaned down to stare at Will. He sniffed and sat up straighter. “Nothing.” 

“No, come on baby, you can tell me.” Her pupils were dilated, and she swayed where she stood. Will needed to help her somehow. 

Instead, he said, “I’m just, I’m useless. I can’t do anything.”

“Why are you saying that?” The reveler sat down and leaned against his shoulder. Her pulse was fast, but at least it was steady. “Like, you’re really comfortable. You got a soft shoulder. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

Will almost laughed. “I want to be more than a shoulder. There’s just so much more I could be doing.” The more he stared at the shifting sea of people, the more he drifted away, and he could almost smell the infirmary. Kayla probably needed him. And the rest of his patients that he’d just abandoned for this quest. 

The reveler’s blank face was just another reminder of his helplessness. She would refuse any help he gave her. He felt tears running down his face again. Why was he sent here? Why did it feel like Nico was drifting further away, being dragged into the cold and foreign earth. Through his tears he stared at the reveler’s glassy eyes and mumbled, “Why?”

“Why what?”

Will hadn’t been thinking, but he saw no reason to stop talking. Worst case, nothing useful would be said and he’d be back to where he started. “Why do you do this? Why do you do this to yourself?” He glanced at her, and through the tears, he could imagine he was talking to anybody. Maybe it was Eleanor who sat beside him, maybe Nico.”

“Because it’s fun.” The reveller’s glassy eyes tried to focus and Will laid a hand on her temple, trying to steady her. 

“Take deep breaths.” Will said. He wasn’t surrounded by dancing humans, and the music didn’t exist. It was just him and his patient. Will laid his other hand on her chest, and felt a butterfly heat beneath her skin, flickering in and out, small and majestic. He breathed in deep, and she breathed in with him. Warmth rushed into the reveler and spread from her heart through to the rest of her body. 

The reveller’s eyes cleared and she sat up without collapsing. She frowned in thought before saying, “Some people want that. Not being yourself, it feels like you’re protected from the outside. That whatever happens in here, at least you chose to come here. A lot of people out there don’t have choices. It’s nice when you give yourself to the Maenads. Then they make the choices for you, and you feel good while it lasts.”

“You know about the Maenads?” Will studied her closely. Was she a demigod?

“Everyone knows their names sooner or later.” The woman said. She blinked and, as if it had just occurred to her, asked, “What’s your name?”

“Will.”

“I’m Nadia.” She sat up straighter and shook his hand. It was surprisingly firm, and her eyes focused easily on his own. “Nadia Garcia. What was I saying?”

“You all know their names.” Will repeated. What did that mean?

“Right. We’re all connected.” Nadia waved her hands. “We’re all moving to this rhythm, and the more we move, the more we get to know the musicians. They whisper to us before long. They ask why we’re here and we tell them, and we give them our grief, our burdens. It’s so freeing once that happens. Like you’re not even you anymore.”

A cold lump settled in Will’s stomach. “Nadia, do you remember anything about yourself from before you came here?”

Nadia frowned, but her eyes soon cleared and she smiled. “Yeah. There was this girl I did ballet with.” She screwed up her face in concentration, then with elation said, “I remember, she was called Angie. My _tías_ all thought we were gay for each other. But we weren’t, well, I wasn’t. Angie just made every day bearable, which shouldn’t be possible now that I think about it.”

“Ballet was rough?”

“Oh yeah.” Nadia laughed. “I think our teacher was trying to give us all eating disorders. She’d spend ten minutes each lesson going on about how much we needed to watch our calories, and how no one wanted to watch a fat dancer.”

Will saw red as he even tried to contemplate someone who would starve her charges. “How dare—” He spluttered. “She should be tried for child abuse.”

“Calm down there.” Nadia laughed. “It’s pretty common in ballet circles.”

“Nothing is worth starving children.” Will had gotten up and was pacing back and forth. “How dare this woman abuse children for, for, why did she even do it anyway?”

“Aight who we taking out?” A black boy with a buzz cut and ripped jersey threw his arm over Will. “I heard y’all talking about some bitch starving kids?”

Nadia said. “We were just kidding,” at the same time Will said, “Her ex-ballet teacher.”

“Yo ballet teachers are the worst.” The boy sat down beside Nadia. “My older sister tried it when she was a kid, and they never let her do the solo dances.” He shook his head. “White bitches crazy.” He glanced at Nadia and added, “No disrespect.”

“Yeah no, I get it.” Nadia laughed. “And the guys that do ballet are either gay or pervs or both.”

Will found himself relaxing and sat with them in their own little circle. The boy, Deshaun, was telling them more about his sister, how she was the pride and joy of their family. She was the first one in their family to graduate high school and was acing her statistics class in the community college a few streets down from where they lived. 

Deshaun grew more animated the more he talked, gesturing more, and eagerly going on more tangents as he told them about how his sister had called out the incompetent professor in front of the whole class. “And the professor couldn’t do nothing about it, because if he complained the department head would’ve heard all about the shit he pulled.”

“Oh are we bitching about dumbass teachers?” A man with blonde hair arranged into a crew cut joined them. He looked like he belonged on the beach in California. “Don’t leave me out.”

“Just complaining in general.” Nadia said. “I need a break from all that.” She waved at the revelers around them. 

With a shock, Will realized he had forgotten about the Maenads. The incessant pounding in his head was gone. He couldn’t feel that tugging in his chest that drew so many others into the crowd. He looked back at the crowd gathering around him and Nadia. The man with blonde hair was talking about his school’s gifted program, and how his teachers and parents took it as a given that he would load himself with as many accelerated programs he could. “And like I told them, maybe I don’t really care about AP Calc, that if they really wanted me to push myself, I could take some history courses at the local college.”

“Oh, let me guess, they were like, ‘But we just want what’s best for you, why don’t you just try it for a semester?’” Nadia said. 

“Exactly!” The man became more animated the longer he talked, as did Nadia, Deshaun, and a few other revelers who had gathered around them. 

“Will! Will!” Eleanor burst through the crowd. Her spiky hair was matted down with sweat, and her leather jacket was torn. When she saw the small crowd, she blinked. “Is this your fan club?”

“Just friends.” Nadia slung an arm around Will’s shoulder, making him blush.

“I guess you were right.” Eleanor grinned at Will. “You actually do have friends.”

Will pushed Nadia’s arm off. “What is it? Where’s Nico?” The cold feeling of dread spread through his stomach. While he had been getting comfortable with Nadia and the others, he had left Nico to fend for himself. 

“Nico collapsed when he touched the relic.” Eleanor said. “The Maenads chased me away and I couldn’t find him.”

Will glanced at the tears in Eleanor’s jackets. He squinted and saw Eleanor had been bleeding. “Are you going to be okay?”

“Cat scratches.” Eleanor grinned. “Give me some credit. Now are you coming with me?”

“But I haven’t eaten their fruit.”

“They’re already pissed off at us.” Eleanor said. “It doesn’t matter at this point.” She grabbed Will’s wrist and pulled him closer. “I need you. And so does Nico.”

The doubt that had been plaguing Will vanished. He couldn’t spend anymore time feeling guilty about what could have been. “Let’s do it.”

“We’re in.” Nadia, Deshaun, and half a dozen other revelers had stood up and was looking to Will for direction. 

“What?” Will spluttered. “No, it’s too dangerous.” 

“And going back in there isn’t?” Deshaun pointed at the throbbing crowd.

“Your friend’s in trouble, yeah?” An androgynous reveler with pink hair put their hands on their hips. “Then we’re coming to get him out.”

“You think you’re the first person who’s needed to drag his friend out of a party?” Nadia laughed. “Trust me, we’re all veterans.”

As Will looked at them, truly saw them, his protests died. They shone with a steady warmth, like a flickering hearth. Maybe Will was just too tired, but a yellow nimbus seemed to hover over them, embracing them like a protective arm. No one would have guessed that just an hour ago they were on the verge of passing out. They were determined to help him. 

Will sniffed as he started crying again, and Deshaun was there rubbing his shoulder. “Hey we got you.”

Will nodded. “Okay.” 

Eleanor smiled at him and patted him on the shoulder. “You did good.” 

Will wouldn’t say that until he knew Nico was safe, but now wasn’t the time to argue with Eleanor. He and his new friends followed Eleanor deeper into the revel. And if any Maenad tried to get between him and Nico, Will vowed to make that Maenad regret its choices. 

* * *

The fruit didn’t taste as bitter the second time Nico ate it, and the aftertaste faded away immediately. He and Eleanor walked down the staircase that appeared after they swallowed the fruit. He felt a familiar ringing in his head, and energy surged through his body. But he didn’t feel the pressure of the Maenads as badly this time. He still remembered what he needed to do, though he had to restrain himself from running down the earthen staircase.

The forest they emerged into was the same, with the same rioting creatures darting through the trees. Or maybe they were different, and everyone here was replaceable. Nico’s skin itched and his stomach started to ache. He knew they had the cure. That once had lost himself, his sense of discomfort would vanish.

“You okay?” Without the Mist, Eleanor’s arm showed more fur than usual. She held Nico’s wrist gently.

“Yeah.” Nico said. “Do you feel it?”

Eleanor nodded. “Don’t worry about. We have to keep going. Remember what you have to do?”

“Yeah.” Nico said. Everyone’s souls danced into the air, like blades of grass bending to a gust of wind. It was like following a breeze, allowing himself to be pushed in whatever direction the wind blew. He allowed them to lead him further into the forest, and soon the yells and laughter faded, only to be replaced by the deep throbbing Nico had felt above ground. 

“We’re close.” Eleanor said. 

Nico nodded and moved as quietly as he could without turning into a shadow. How did Eleanor move so softly with twice as many legs. Shouldn’t her hooves make her clumsier? 

The Maenads pranced in a circle, dancing just like the revelers they had left behind. Or maybe it was the revelers who were dancing to the beat of the Maenads, mimicking their hidden masters. They looked human in the dim light, with claws at the end of their hands. Their hair flowed like they were underwater, revealing small horns that burst out of their temples. 

Nico took a deep breath and faded into a shadow and waded forwards. He merged with the shadows cast by the ghostly light oozing off the Maenads. Sliding closer and closer to the revel, he could feel his own soul being tugged into the circle, but he resisted the pull. 

He slipped past and through the Maenads, detaching himself from the forest and the lights. It was just his shadow in this forest, edging towards his prize. The relic rested on a tree trunk, in the center of the circle of dancing Maenads. It was shaped like a wooden cylinder less than a foot tall. Nico reached out to take it, seeing that it would fit easily in his hand.

The world screeched into focus. The faint heartbeat in the background roared in Nico’s ears. They knew he was here, and had yanked him into their reality. He fell to his knees as the Maenads circled him, screeching in delight. Eleanor yelled and the sound of bass guitar chords floated through the air.

The pressure in Nico’s head faded slightly. Using the hand that didn’t carry the relic, he unsheathed his sword and stood. He moved towards Eleanor with his sword swiping at the Maenads. The forest spun even faster around him, but Nico still stayed standing. The relic he held pulsed faster and faster until Nico’s entire arm lost feeling, but he still held on.

Eleanor shouted as Maenads swarmed her. Vines grew out of the ground, but the trees came alive around her and swiped at her clothes. A short flurry of notes repelled the trees, but by then the Maenads had untangled themselves from the vines and overran her. The sound of her magic died and Nico belonged to the revel. His chest burned with the kind of fire Ash had filled him with last night.

 _This is who you are,_ a chorus of voices filled his ears. These were the voices of the Maenads and the voice of Ash and the voice of every life that had passed through this revel and been absorbed by the Maenads. _Soon it will be your voice too_.

Nico tried to scream but his mouth froze into a grin. _You don’t deserve to be up there with the people you want to befriend. You don’t want to watch your every step, knowing one misstep is all it will take for them to realize how unworthy you are._

How could they know all of this? How could they know him so well? A whimper escaped Nico’s lips. Gentle hands moved him about the forest. He felt as if he was riding a carousal, hanging onto whomever he could hang onto, breathing in the smell of their heat. He tried to remember how he had gotten here, but the forest still spun and soon Nico couldn’t remember what sunlight felt like.

Maybe this was for the best. _Leave your concerns above ground and let them rot. Join us where nothing can hurt you_. He rested his head against someone’s shoulder, felt their hands drift under his shirt, let their raspy breathing drown out every other sound in the world.

And then he was pulled away yet again. He let his new companion drag him away from the revelers, and the itch within Nico intensified. Nico pressed himself into the man who was still pulling him away from other people.

“Not why I’m here.” The man pried open Nico’s hand, which still gripped the relic. Nico gasped as soon as the relic was out of his hands and sagged against a tree. The voices were gone, but nothing replaced them. He was empty, and could only stare at his companion, who twirled the relic about in his fingers.

His face seemed to morph under the dim lights of the revel. At first his hair was a dirty blond and his eyes were ocean green. Then his hair darkened and his cheekbones narrowed. In his eyes Nico could see innocent hope and unrivalled rage, the kind of hurt that could level nations. He saw pride parades and unwritten letters and coy kisses behind a church. His touch was both tender and yearning at once, the kind of touch that would send anyone reeling from the sheer desire and need.

“Who are you?” Nico asked. He looked away from the man, knowing if he stared too long he would be fall in love with him for the rest of his mortal life.

“That comes later.” The man replied. “The real question is, who are you?”

A pause. Then, “Nico. Nico di Angelo.”

“And what does that mean? What does the name Nico di Angelo mean?”

Despair, Nico wanted to say. Death and shadows and just barely being there. He looked into the man’s eyes again, and was filled with a rush of emotion that sent him staggering. Memories filled his mind, like a flood surging through a desert. 

He stood in New Rome watching Hazel command her half of the fifth cohort, feeling so much pride in his little sister. He was sleeping beneath the _Athena Parthenos_ behind a cafe patio in San Juan. Reyna covered him with a blanket, gently playing with his hair while Coach Hedge stood guard. He was eleven and in Daedalus’ Labyrinth, crying in front of Bianca’s ghost. _Goodbye, Nico. I love you._ He was fourteen again and his father smiled at him in a church in Portugal. _My children are so rarely happy. I would like you to be the exception_.

“Who are you?” Nico whispered. How was he remembering all of these things now? Despite his best efforts he was crying, his chest shaking as he tried to control himself.

“You know who me, as I know you.” The man said. “Do you know who you are now?”

“I already told you my name.” Nico wanted to hide from this man who broke him just by looking at him, by making Nico look at himself. But instead he remembered the way Annabeth smiled at him when he had cleared the air with Percy, told him about those feelings that had been a source of shame for so long. She had been so proud of him. How long had Annabeth known? 

“But we are so much more than our names.” The man said. “We are who we love and who love us. Do you remember who loves you now?”

“I do now, but—“ Nico paused, not wanting to sound ungrateful. But the beauty in the man’s eyes compelled him to speak. “Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes it just feels like I tricked them somehow, that if they really knew me like I knew me, they wouldn’t waste their time on me.”

“Oh, Nico.” The man embraced him. “The Gods themselves can’t force you to love yourself. But I give you my blessing: to recognize and accept the love that others might send your way.”

A warmth spread through Nico’s chest. More images rushed through him, overpowering any influence the Maenads might have. Jason staring him down in the palace of the lord of the South Wind. _You want to trust somebody? Maybe take a risk that I’m really your friend and I’ll accept you… Maybe it’s time you came out of the shadows._ Will glared at him in front of Octavian and his cohort. _Nobody at Camp Half-Blood ever pushed you away. You have friends._

As Nico sobbed into the man’s shoulder, he could believe it, believe that he was more than just a project for Will, more than someone Percy and Annabeth might pity. After several minutes, he pulled away and asked again, “Who are you?”

“You still haven’t guessed?” The man laughed. “I could take that as an insult. But I suppose I’m rarely depicted in my male form.”

Nico gasped in realization. “Aphrodite?” He received a happy nod. “But, you’re supposed to be a woman.”

“To those who behold my form, I am that which they desire the most.” Aphrodite rolled his eyes. “It just so happened that the famous Greeks who saw me and wrote about me desired a beautiful woman the most. And then the Enlightment scholars popularized that idea, as well as the idea that we gods are restricted by gender. So everyone thinks that, and now I rarely have the chance to use a non-female form.”

“Um, what?”

“Sorry, I get carried away when I think about the scholars who denied so many kinds of love because of a lack of imagination.”

Nico tried to get Aphrodite back on topic. “Why did you help me?”

“Consider it a favour.” Aphrodite said. “I know what my son, Cupid, did to you.” Nico recoiled but Aphrodite continued. “And I know how scared you are of loving others. This might seem hard to believe, but it pained me to see you so scared of loving others, of being loved.”

“Since when were you this nice?” Nico could still remember the turmoil Aphodite’s prophecy had caused Reyna in Charleston. _No demigod shall warm your heart_. “I thought you were all for manipulating lovers for your own entertainment.”

“Love sometimes leads to tragedy, yes. But your tragedy has been to never allow yourself to love. As the God of love, it’s one I hope to end.”

“Thanks.” Nico allowed himself to say. He blinked and said, “Where’s the relic?”

“Back in the forest.” Aphrodite said. “The three of you can try again some other time. It wouldn’t be a quest if I did it for you, would it?”

“You could have given it back.”

“Could you have carried it out of here?” Aphrodite still smiled, but it was sadder now. “Could you have guaranteed that you wouldn’t have gotten overwhelmed?”

“I thought your blessing would help.”

“My blessing will help you leave this place.” Aphrodite said. “But the relic will still overpower you.”

Was Nico too weak? “Why? I’ll take it and shadow travel out of here.”

“You are connected to them.” Aphrodite laid a hand on his chest. “Anyone who has ever eaten the fruit from these trees are connected to the Maenads. You cannot touch the relic without giving them control over you.”

“So I’m tainted.” Nico spat out the words. “I’m corrupted by the Maenads.”

“Do you think the Maenads corrupt people? Taint people? Is that what this revel does?” Before Nico could respond, Aphrodite cut him off and continued. “You aren’t weak for feeling the things you’ve felt. You’re not dirty for eating their foods.”

“But they control me.”

“Your feelings are bared to them, like an open wound.” Aphrodite said. “There’s still an emptiness in you, and while it remains, your soul will seek out whatever might fill it.” He looked over Nico’s shoulder. “You should go now. Will and Eleanor are worried about you.”

Nico looked behind him and saw the staircase carved into a pile of stone that led up into the mortal world. When he looked back to thank Aphrodite, he was gone, and the thumping and pounding of the revel returned. It pulled at him with a purpose. The Maenads could sense he was getting away, and they wanted his soul. _So full of passion, so much emotion, come with us, come with us_. 

Nico doubled down and plodded on, past the Centaurs that cantered around him, past the humans whose eyes glittered like stars, though they really weren’t stars. Nothing down here was what it seemed. The love the Maenads offered wasn’t love. Ash’s touch could never feel as warm as Reyna's hugs him at the end of the Giant War.The peace the Maenads offered wasn’t peace. Peace that came at the price of Nico’s identity wasn’t peace at all, it was another kind of death.

 _They will never trust you._ The Maenads cried out in anger, in fear of losing their prey. The bright forest of Nico’s dreams returned, and Jason and Reyna were staring coldly at him from the sky. Will was disappearing into a clearing that Nico could never reach. _You have failed twice now to get the relic, why would they want you?_

Nico gritted his teeth and dug his nails into his palms. They were lies. His dreams were not reality. He had to remember the real Will, the Will that spent far too much time worrying about him, the Will who didn’t know how to help him but did the best he could. _But it still hurts. You can try to convince yourself all your want but it will still hurt, and you will always doubt your friends._

“Shut up.” Nico growled. He kept on walking, while the grass around him withered and died. He placed his hand on the pile of rocks he had emerged from and started climbing up the staircase. The darkness pressed in on him, and the staircase grew narrower and narrower. _Stay with us, stay with us_. Their cries were more desperate now, the veneer of pleasure was gone and below Nico, they gnashed their teeth and clawed at each other in fury. Nico could almost feel the ichor flowing from the cuts they inflicted on each other, hear their dreadful shrieking, see their faces twisted with rage. 

Nico struggled up the stairs, his jacket getting caught on the sharp rocks, occasionally slipping on conveniently placed pebbles. Sweat covered his chest as he heaved his way up, the stairs becoming steeper and steeper the further up he climbed. The air grew thicker and more humid, and Nico’s heart felt like it would pound out of his chest. But he kept climbing, and he kept climbing. 

At first Nico thought he was emerging into sunlight. That he had been down there for hours and hours, or maybe days, and the sun was greeting him at the end of the tunnel. As he stumbled out of the tunnel, he collapsed into someone’s arms. He tried pushing himself away, but a familiar voice said, “Oh my Gods, Nico, Nico, can you hear me?”

Will hugged him so tight Nico couldn’t breathe, and Nico wasn’t about to protest. In this moment, as Will’s chest heaved underneath Nico’s, his dreams of the sunlit forest were nothing more than dreams. He let his head rest on Will’s shoulder as Will whispered. “I thought I’d lost you, I thought you were dead.”

At last, Nico wriggled away from Will and looked around at other revelers who looked out of place. They were too happy, too pleased with themselves, to belong here. And they were all smiling at Nico. 

“Will, what’s going on?” Nico asked as he tugged on Will’s sleeve. 

“We’re Will’s friends.” A latino woman with black hair extended her hand, which Nico shook. “Nadia Garcia, at your service.”

“We heard Will had this friend that needed some help.” A pink haired reveler in a white tank top also shook his hand. “And we’ve all been there, you know? So we were all like, ‘let’s help Will’, and Will was like, ‘Of course, I’m useless without my friends’, so we followed his other friend Eleanor, and here we are.”

Nico turned to Eleanor. “What happened?”

Eleanor shook her head. “After I escaped from the Maeands, I ran up here to get Will, and he was surrounded by these people, all of them wanting to help out.”

Nico couldn’t believe it. In a shocked voice, he said, “Will made friends? By himself?” 

“Hey!” Will protested. “I can make friends, okay?”

“Patients and siblings don’t count.” Nico retorted.

“I have friends who aren’t my siblings at camp.”

“Yeah, who?”

“You.” Will blurted out. 

A tight feeling bloomed in Nico’s chest. “Me?”

“Yes, you.” Will said, picking up momentum. “You’re not my sibling, and since you’ve violently rejected all my attempts at treatment, I can say for sure that you’re _definitely_ not my patient.”

“Oh.” Nico gulped and tried to form more words, but his throat had tight feeling had spread from his chest to his throat.

“Well, as touching and funny as this is,” Eleanor said, “We should probably get going.” She nodded at the opening that led further down into the revel. “I don’t know what you did, Nico, but you’ve really pissed them off.”

“Right.” Nico had almost forgotten they were still in a basement below Brooklyn. Being surrounded by Will and his new friends had made Nico feel alert, immune to the effects of the Maenads. Even the blaring music had been muted. He let Will, Eleanor, and Will’s new friends lead him out of the revel with ease. The crowds parted before them, and in no time they had piled out of the revel into open air. 

Fresh air had never tasted so good. The stars above them were higher than Nico could have imagined, and compared to the deafening music below them, the silence that greeted them now was beautiful. Next to him, Will was thanking his new friends profusely. “I never could have lasted down there without your help?”

“Neither could we.” Nadia hugged Will for a long time, and the tightness in Nico’s chest returned again. How close were they? What had happened between them, before Eleanor had found them? 

Nico felt an ugly kind of anger rise in his stomach and he repressed it. Why was it any of Nico’s business? Why did he care so much after everything he and Ash had done? But the thought of Nadia’s hands tangled in Will’s hair, of Will kissing Nadia back, made Nico look elsewhere.

“You okay?” Eleanor trotted up to him, putting her fake legs back on.

“Yeah.” Nico said, glad for the distraction. Only now did he notice Eleanor’s torn jacket and the dried blood that coated her face and arms. “Are you?”

“Cat scratches.” Eleanor said. She grimaced before saying, “Look, I’m sorry about down there.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I thought I could hold off the Maenads. I’ve seen what they can do, and I still thought I could hold them off. You could have died down there, because I misjudged things.”

“But I didn’t.” Nico said. “That’s all that matters. And when we go down there again, I’ll feel safer knowing you’re with us.”

Eleanor smiled. “You’re different. What happened down there? How did you escape?”

 _I give you my blessing: to recognize and accept the love that others might send your way._ Nico hesitated before saying, “Maybe another time.”

Eleanor didn’t ask for an explanation, just nodded and headed over to Will. One day he would tell the story to Eleanor. But Aphrodite’s blessing felt private, like it had just been meant for him.

Nico walked over to Will who was now arguing with Nadia. Nico tried not to feel hopeful. 

“It’s dangerous, and there’s nothing you could do.” Will said. 

“That’s okay.” Nadia shot back. “We’ll just come tomorrow night anyways and wait for you. Nothing you can do about it.” The other revellers murmurred their assent.

“You just got out.” Will pleaded. “What about the people who are important to you? What about Angie?”

“She’d understand.” Nadia said. “You’re my friend too. And it seems like what’s going down there is pretty dangerous, more dangerous than your average rave.”

“She’s right.” A black boy with a torn jersey said to Will. “We're not dipping out on you now.”

Nico grabbed Will and whispered, “Just let them come. We’ll shadow travel past them.”

“But—”

“I’m tired.” Nico leaned on Will. “I just want to go to sleep.”

“Oh, of course.” Will said. “I wasn’t thinking.” He turned to Nadia. “Fine, just, bring water and stuff, okay?”

Nadia winked at Nico and mouthed ‘thank you’ before pulling out her phone and messaging someone. Will looked at Eleanor who was calling another Uber. “We’ll be back at the motel soon, okay?”

“Okay.” Nico tried not to feel too happy that he was being allowed to lean on Will. “Thanks, by the way.”

“No problem. Although you made it out of there just fine.” Will waved goodbye to his new friends that were leaving.

“But you were still there.” Nico said. “You’ve, you’ve always been there.”

“Don’t you find that annoying?” Will laughed. 

“Sometimes.” Nico said. “But not now.”

“Why not?” 

_Because I have Aphrodite’s blessing_. “Because I’m not as scared.”

“What were you scared of?” Will laughed. “After everything you’ve seen.”

“I was scared of you leaving me.” Nico said. “Every time you’d want to spend time with me, I’d think you’d get closer to finding out that I wasn’t worth it, that you’d move on to some easier patient.”

“Nico, I’d never.” Will had his arm around Nico, pulling him into his chest. “You mean more to me than some patient. I’m sorry if I always treat you like one.”

“I can’t blame you.” Nico said. “I know I don’t do the smartest things, or I push myself too hard sometimes, and I lash out at people.”

“I haven’t been helping either.” Will said. “I’m sorry for what I said at the motel, when we got here.”

Nico laughed. “After everything I said last night, after how I’ve treated you, _you’re_ apologizing to _me_?” 

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind an apology for that either.” Will said. “But I’ve still been acting badly on this quest too.”

“Well, I’m sorry for yelling at you last night.” Nico said. “You didn’t deserve it.” 

“Maybe, but it helped me. This morning, it was all I could think about.” Will said. “You’re right, I don’t know how to help people like you, people like Dani. But I have to, and it hurts more than anything when there are people I don’t know how to cure.”

“You can’t cure everything.” 

“But I should be able to.” Will said. “It’s my duty.”

“Since when?” Nico asked. “Who died and made you the super healer?”

“Michael Yew and Lee Fletcher.” 

Nico gripped Will’s hand tighter. “Their deaths were a tragedy, but it doesn’t mean you have to heal everyone.”

“But it did.” Will said. “In Manhattan, after Michael died, there were so many people I needed to heal. So much to do, and I couldn’t. So many Satyrs and nymphs and demigods died.”

“I know.” Nico could see Manhattan in ruins like it was yesterday. Demigods trampled on the streets, or flung into the cars and lampposts on the sidewalk. The air thick from the Ichor and dust from monsters. All those children dead, for their Gods and Titans, desperately seeking approval, somewhere to belong. 

“That’s why I have to be the best healer I can.” Will said. “After seeing that kind of death, all those lives wasted, it’s my duty to preserve life when I can.”

“But there are others.” Nico said. “You don’t have to take this burden for yourself.” But of course Will did. He had been made counsellor when he was thirteen. He had been twelve when his first counsellor died. Of course Will thought he had to do this by himself. “And there are still things you can’t heal.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Will asked. “Just sit there and watch you suffer?”

“Yeah.” Nico said. “It’s called ‘being there for a friend’. It’s hard, but it helps.”

“So I’m your friend?” Will’s shy grin slowly covered his whole face. “You didn’t deny it down there.”

“I guess.” Nico couldn’t help smile too. “But no take-backs.” He relished the feeling of Will’s cheek against his hair. 

“Never.” Will looked at the sky again, trying to find the few stars that wasn’t drowned out by Brooklyn’s lights. Nico intended to follow Will’s gaze and try to find constellations, but he found himself staring at Will instead. The lamplight illuminated his uncharacteristically peaceful expression. Normally his face was scrunched in a frown as he diagnosed symptoms or dashed between patients. In the infirmary, Will’s mind raced as he tended to dozens of reckless demigods. But now, on a plain Brooklyn sidewalk, the anxiety that drove Will had gone, leaving a content smile that Nico never wanted to forget. 

He squeezed Will’s hand again and started to doze off. Soon enough their ride would come and Nico would have to get up. But for now, Nico would sleep, and he knew that for once, his nightmares wouldn’t touch him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took a lot longer than I'd intended. The chapter also turned out to be a lot longer than expected. I'd meant to end the chapter right as they left the revel and save Will and Nico's conversation for another chapter, but it felt more natural to have that conversation in this chapter. I'd also intended to write about Will's morning/afternoon, but found it really didn't do much so I cut it out. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

As the their Uber pulled into the motel parking lot, Will got ready to wake up Nico. He marvelled at how peaceful Nico looked. His face was smooth, without his customary defensive glare. For once, Will could believe Nico was a fourteen year old child. Someone who was Will’s age.

He gently shook Nico’s shoulder. “Nico, we’re here.” 

“Mmmph.” 

“We have to get out of the car.” Will said, as Eleanor counted out what mortal money was remaining. They were getting low on money, and might have to find somewhere else to sleep tomorrow night. 

Nico groaned again, but when Eleanor threatened dragging him through the motel, he grudgingly stumbled out of the car, still leaning on Will. He tried not to feel too happy about being so close to Will. 

“I need a smoke.” Eleanor was already holding a joint. “Don’t wait up.”

“Marijuana lowers your immune system.” Will said. “You shouldn’t smoke it when you’re injured.”

“I know what my immune system can take.” Eleanor said. “And after almost being mauled by Maenads, I think I deserve a small joint.”

“Okay, but—”

“Don’t worry.” Eleanor grabbed his hand. “I’ll be fine.”

Will took a deep breath. “Okay. Goodnight then.”

“Goodnight.” Eleanor walked towards the scummy swimming pool on the other end of the motel. “And Will, you did good. Rachel was right about you.” 

Will grinned at Eleanor as she disappeared around the corner. By now, Nico was lucid enough to stand on his own, and the two of them stumbled into their rooms without any incident. The two of them collapsed on the bed closest to the door. Will’s eyes ached and he wanted to rest, but his heart was still beating from the night’s excursion. 

“You know I care about you, right?” Nico had curled his legs into his chest and twisted the silver ring on his hand.”

“Yeah.” Will glanced at Nico and smiled. “I care about you too.”

“I know.” Nico allowed himself a smile. “I mean, I know, but sometimes I don’t really _know_.” He paused. “Sorry, I know that doesn’t make any sense.”

“There’s this sinking feeling, that makes what you _know_ not matter.” Will remembered all the times he felt useless, like he shouldn’t be here. All the times in the infirmary where a little voice had whispered that there was more he should be doing, more he had to be doing. “And there’s this little voice that’s so convincing, telling you you’re not good enough.”

Nico opened his eyes and stared at Will. “Yeah, how—”

“I hear it all the time.” Will had never talked about this. There never seemed to be time, always more patients and more of his siblings who needed to be cared for. “Every time I heal someone, I feel like I could be doing more. Ever since I’ve been here, I feel like I should be back at camp where I can actually do some good. Where I can actually help people.”

Nico leaned over to grab Will’s hand. He looked up at Will with a compassion Will didn’t know existed in Nico. “You helped me.”

“You made it out of there without us. We hadn’t even gone down.” But Will smiled at the memory, the feeling of elation everyone had felt when Nico had stumbled out of the staircase. All of them, Nadia, Deshaun, and the rest were all willing to fight for Nico. He was glad they hadn’t needed to.

“I wouldn’t if I hadn’t known you’d be waiting for me.” Nico said. “Besides, what about your fanclub?”

“They’re not my fanclub.” Will protested. 

Nico chuckled. “Whatever they are, you healed them.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“But they walked out of there. We all walked out of there.” Nico’s face became serious again. “How many revelers do you think have walked out of there? Do you think they would have been okay if you hadn’t been there?”

“But I didn’t do anything.” Will repeated. “I just talked to them, and let them talk back.” Nadia had been dazed and on the verge of passing out. And Will had to admit it seemed unlikely that other revelers might have made it out. But if he had healed them somehow, why couldn’t he heal Alex last night? 

“Hold on.” Nico sat up and stared at Will. “You let people talk back to you? And you listened?”

“Yes! I’m capable of listening—” Will cut himself short as he remembered how he would lecture Nico. “Okay, I deserved that.”

Nico laughed and leaned back against the bedrest. “Seriously though, you saved us. I, I think I saw their souls.” Nico was now deep in thought. He stared past the motel ceiling. “They looked like yours. It was like your souls were working together, feeding off each other. You guys were like an island in the middle of,” he waved his hand vaguely. They both knew what he meant.

Will wanted to deny it. His soul hadn’t been doing anything special. But they had gotten out so easily. The crowds had parted for them, even though the Maenads were, as Eleanor put it, pissed off. And the orange nimbus that had hovered around them when they agreed to help Nico. Will had dismissed it as an effect from the strobe light, or stress. Could Nico be right? Could their souls have worked in tandem?

“You might be onto something.” Will admitted.

“I know I am.” Nico grinned. “I’m ninety years old, you should listen to what I’ve got to say.”

“What?”

“You didn’t know?” Nico’s face was blank, which was bad. It was always bad when Nico was hiding what he felt.

“I heard the rumors.” Will said. “But you know how everything gets taken out of context in camp. I just didn’t think it mattered.” His heart hammered in his chest. The wrong words might send Nico into a fury, or worse, silence. 

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?”

“It’s just not something I think about that often when I’m talking to you.” Will said. “I mean, given your atrocious self-care habits, your date of birth is really not on my mind when I see you.”

Nico’s face remained blank for another torturous moment, and then he laughed again. “I can’t believe you didn’t know I was born in the 30s.”

“Well, you don’t talk about yourself ever. How was I to know.”

“I guess I just assumed everyone knew.” Nico said. “Another reason why people are scared of me.”

“They’re not.” Will tugged Nico’s arm and turned to face him. “I keep on telling you, there are loads of campers who would love to be friends with you.”

Will was sure Nico would deny it and another argument would ensue. But instead, Nico just swallowed and said. “Maybe. It’s just, the little voice sometimes gets really loud, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Will said. “But if the voice ever gets too loud, I’ll be happy to remind you that I care about you.”

“Even after,” Nico rubbed the hickies on his neck.

“Of course.”

“Last night, you just looked so,” Nico’s face screwed up as he tried to control himself. “Disappointed in me. Angry at me.”

“I was just scared, really scared. I thought you’d been forced or something. But that doesn’t change—”

“I wasn’t forced.”

“But if the Maenads were controlling you,”

“I wasn’t forced. It was my choice.” Nico’s voice broke, and his grip on Will’s hand grew tighter. “I, I wanted it.”

“I just don’t know how much choice you had if—”

“Why does it have to matter so much?”

“Because the Maenads took away your ability to choose—”

“It _has_ to be my choice, okay?” Nico yelled. 

“What?” Will lowered his voice. “What do you mean?”

“It, it doesn’t matter.” Nico withdrew his hand from Will’s and turned away. 

Will stared at Nico, who was resolutely facing away from him, gathering himself inward like he was preparing for an assault. He wanted to push, wanted to show Nico why it _did_ matter, why Will had every right to worry about Nico. But Nico was already in so much pain, and it wasn’t Will’s job to add to it. Fighting every instinct, he said. “Well, either way, I still care about you. That doesn’t change, no matter what choices you make.”

Nico didn’t budge. Will wanted to do more. Feeling more in danger now than when he had gone into the revel, he reached his hand across the bed to hold Nico’s shoulder. After an eternity, when Nico didn’t protest or fling Will’s hand away, Will moved closer and draped his other arm over Nico’s curled up body.

“I’ll always care for you, Nico. I swear it.”

“Don’t.” Nico turned around, putting them face to face.

“But I mean it.” Will whispered, holding Nico’s gaze. He felt exposed and naked in front of Nico, but he didn’t mind. Not if it could help Nico see that people actually cared about them. 

“Oaths are dangerous.” Nico said. “The Fates have a way of holding you to an oath, even one you don’t swear on the River Styx.”

“But—”

“Please.” Nico reached between them to caress Will’s hand. “I don’t want you to,” His voice shook and he took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to force yourself to care about me, when one day, months, years from now, you might not.”

Nico’s hand traced patterns on Will’s knuckles, making his insides feel like jelly. Could Nico see what his touch did to him? The thrill his gaze elicited from Will? If only he could do the same to Nico. He reached over to start threading his free hand through Nico’s hair. It was still damp with sweat, but Will didn’t care. “What about a promise?”

“Why does it matter?” Nico whispered. “Why do you have to have a promise? Or some oath?”

“To show you I mean it. To give you something concrete to look back on, when that little voice gets too loud.” Hearing how contrived his desire was made him look away. As if he could silence the doubts in Nico’s brain singlehandedly. It was the kind of arrogance that led Nico to reject him in the first place. Suddenly his arm around Nico just felt awkward. 

But before he could pull away, Nico pulled Will closer and buried his face in Will’s chest. “I’ll let you promise.”

“Really? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I want you to.” 

“Then, Nico di Angelo, I promise to always care for you, no matter what.”

“Okay.” Nico mumbled into Will’s shirt. “Thanks.”

“Thanks for letting me.” Will held Nico as he fell asleep, his breathing getting deeper and more even within seconds. It didn’t take long before Will followed Nico into sleep.

* * *

The first time Nico woke was just before dawn, after a hazy dream he could barely remember. Will’s arm was still draped over him. The weight was comfortable, like an anchor grounding him in this world. He tried to remember his dream, but could only remember vague flashes of tumbling through a vast sky. The stars shone brighter and brighter, tracing out Aprhodite’s face like some intricate constellation. _I give you my blessing_. Aphrodite’s voice boomed around them, waking Nico.

Nico woke for the second time when Will slowly extricated himself from Nico. Probably to breakfast, Nico thought. Not even the apocalypse would stop Will from having three square meals a day. Will laid a blanket over Nico as he left, and Nico snuggled deeper into them, falling asleep again.

Third time was the charm. Or at least, third time was when Will insisted Nico got up. “We’ve got to talk about how we’re getting the relic.”

Nico groaned into his pillow, but that only seemed to encourage Will. “It’s almost two thirty in the afternoon, you need to drink water and eat something.”

“I’ll drink nectar.”

“You already had too much yesterday.” Will flipped Nico over with unexpected strength, forcing Nico to stare at the sunlight streaming through the window. “Your lunch is on the table.”

Will had gotten foot long Subway sandwiches. There was too much lettuce in Nico’s sandwich, and he suspected Will had intentionally asked for more. 

As he finished up his sandwich, Eleanor jumped in without preamble. “Nico, you’re going to have to tell us what happened with the relic.”

Nico gulped, but Will held his hand and smiled at him. _I promise to care for you, no matter what_

“They said I was connected to them.” Nico said. “When I held it, they knew I was there, they held me in place. They said I was one of them, that I belonged with them.” 

“You don’t.” Will said instantly. “You belong here, with us.”

“You probably opened yourself too much to them.” Eleanor said. “Eating the fruit, it lets us find them, but it also gives them a bit of control over us. Touching the relic, which amplifies their power, it probably amplified the power they had over you.” Nico felt a twinge of regret, but none of the shame he had been expecting. "I should have seen it coming."

“Can you take it?” Nico asked Eleanor.

“Maybe, it’s our best bet.” Eleanor grinned. “It’ll give me a chance to get back at them for last night.”

“No, I’ll take it.” 

Nico stared at Will. Will was stubborn in everything he did, but he always seemed agitated, like he was going through different plans in his head in case one plan didn’t work. Now he seemed assured that his plan wouldn’t fail, that he would not need to think of others. 

Nico and Eleanor’s stunned silence gave him room to talk more. “I mean, the Maenads have the least power over me, since I haven’t eaten their food. And I know Eleanor said they might notice us if we didn’t eat their fruit—”

“They’ve already noticed us.” Eleanor finished his thought for him. “So stealth is out of the question.”

“And if you two can protect me, we’ll run towards the relic and run out.” Will said. “Will you still be able to find it?”

“The Maenads have to be around their relic if they want to use it.” Nico said. “And I can find them again.”

“We might have to shadow travel out of there.” Eleanor pointed out. “They swarmed me real fast last night.”

Will stiffened, causing Nico to look away bitterly. Of course Will wouldn’t let him shadow travel. “It’s okay, we don’t need to.”

“Uh Nico, we might.” Eleanor said. “You saw how many there were last night.”

“There are more of us.” Why couldn’t Eleanor take a hint? “We won’t need to. We’ll be strong enough, if both Will and I are fighting with you.”

Eleanor narrowed her eyes. “You know you’re wrong about this.” Nico braced himself for more, but she moved on. “Then I guess the plan’s simple: protect Will as he grabs the relic and drag him out of there.”

“Our plan last night was simple too.” Nico muttered.

“And we know things we didn’t know last night.” Eleanor said. “Do you have a better one?”

Nico shook his head, and Eleanor sighed. “Then I guess we’ve got the rest of the day to kill. I’m going out.”

“Out where?” Will asked.

“Outside.” Eleanor put on her jacket and headed towards the door. “We’re either cooped up in this motel or we’re cooped up in the Maenad’s revel. I need to be outside in the sun for a bit.”

“That makes sense.” Will always approved of holistic self-care. Nico was surprised Will didn’t try to volunteer Nico.

It was only when Eleanor and silence settled around the two of them that Nico started thinking about everything that had transpired last night. Was Will regretting his reckless promise? Had Nico been too forward? 

Will cleared his throat and asked. “Why don’t you want to shadow travel?”

“I thought I wasn’t allowed to, doctor’s orders?” Nico tried to appear nonchalant. 

“The doctor might not have made the most informed diagnosis.” Will grimaced. “Besides, that was right after the Giant War.”

“Because you haven’t bugged me about it since then.” Nico tried to reign in the sarcasm and failed spectacularly.

“I haven’t been the best medic.” Will said. “It’s just, you looked so frail around camp, like you were about to fade away. I’m not saying you’re frail.” Will hastily amended. “It’s just, I was worried, and I didn’t know what to do.”

“So you pinned it on my shadow travelling.”

“Yeah.” Will’s lip trembled, and he looked like he was on the verge of crying again. “I’m sorry.”

“I should be apologizing.” Nico’s hand was on top of Will’s before he realized what he was doing. By the time he did, it was too late. Taking it back would look rude. “I wasn’t okay at camp. Sometimes when I slept I’d phase through the bed, wake myself up by landing on the floor. But every time you’d bring it up, I thought you were pitying me, or mad at me.”

“I was definitely mad at you.” Will laughed. “But that doesn’t change how I didn’t know what I was doing. And it took me too long to admit it.”

“So you know what you’re doing now?” Nico smiled up at him. “You’re an expert on Underworld magic?”

“Well, no. But I’m done trying to act like I’m the expert on Nico di Angelo.” Will said. Nico tried not think about how nice his name sounded when it came from Will’s mouth. “I guess, I just realized I was getting mad at you for no reason. And it’s fine if you don’t want to shadow travel, I just didn’t want to be the only reason you didn’t want to.”

“You’re not the only reason.” Nico flexed the hand that had held the relic. If he concentrated he could feel the resonance from last night, the way his hand had shaken with the Maenads, the way he became part of the relic, as if he could feel the power of all the Maenads surging through him, drawing him into their circle. “If I touch you while you’re holding the relic, I don’t know what will happen.”

“Even though you’re not touching it?”

“The connection was just so strong.” Nico said. “I don’t know what will happen tonight.”

“We’ll be together.” Will said. “All three of us, just like we were meant to. I know that, at least.”

“Since when were you this confident?” Nico asked. “I thought you’d be freaking out about everything that could go wrong.”

“It’s weird, realizing how much I don’t know lets me focus on what I do know.” Will said. “I don’t have to worry about things like how many Maenads there might be, or what if I can’t hold the relic, or what if they’ve hidden the relic. I just focus on how you and Eleanor will be with me. That just makes me feel better.”

“You make it sound easy.” 

“It’s not, but it’s something I just keep telling myself.” Will said. “And it does feel good, not worrying about things I can’t control.”

“Makes you think Eleanor has a point.” Nico said.

“All the weed she smokes is still unhealthy.” Will said. “You’re breathing in smoke, your body isn’t meant for that.”

Nico laughed and leaned into Will, letting him rant about how rampant weed was, and how everyone thought it was harmless just because it was less harmful than cigarettes and alcohol. He closed his eyes, and decided that if he had to dream, this is what he would want to dream about. Just him and Will, sitting together without worrying about what the other was thinking. He could believe in Will’s new confidence. It allowed him to hope that maybe tonight would be the last time he would need to go into the midst of the Maenads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't super excited about how this chapter turned out. The second conversation from Nico's POV felt like talking heads a lot of the time, and it seemed a little lifeless. But I wanted to get this out because I go back to school soon. Hope you guys still enjoyed!


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